#and also get not great medical test results
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why does everything happen all at once?
#i just made a huge move out of london#so already stressed#told today my job will change#and also get not great medical test results#in a call today also#and need an MRI but it's going to take forever because i need to register with my new docs first#also lost my cat briefly today so its been super stressful#watch me suck at this new job so when i have to get surgery they use it as an excuse to let me go and then i can no longer afford this flat#so go bankrupt and move in with my parents#op rambles#i really regret drinking that energy drink this morning
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tbh I’m more intrigued by the idea of college-age Reader getting pregnant while unmarried still living in the manor and NO ONE has any idea who the father is (maybe she does, but she’s withholding that for now or maybe he’s not in the picture?) and it’s the biggest freak out ever. that just seems so fucking wild and potentially hilarious to me. and nobody noticing she’s pregnant until she’s farther along? or them finding out randomly?? imagine:
damian: you look pregnant. what is wrong with you.
reader: i am pregnant though
the batfam: ????????!!!!!!!!!! and then she proposes that now that she’s old enough and starting a new chapter in her life raising a baby and all she should just move out! (cue everyone disliked that meme)
Neglected!Pregnant!Reader x Yandere!Bat Family
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Part Two
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: Okay, I think I'm about to become a Pregnancy!Reader writer. Which, I'm not mad about. Kind think it would be fun, but I know the trope isn't for everyone. So, if it’s not your thing, I’m sorry.
A/N: Some of this is based off of things from my own pregnancies.
A/N: Oh, no. Frick, I wanna make this a series now. Check the bottom, cause I have a plot idea for this and I want opinions on it. I spiraled, this was supposed to be a quick blurb. I got carried away. Gonna build up to the yandere shenanigans because I’m turning into a writer with a million WIPs.
A/N: Tagging @skay-ali because I like their The Forgotten Daughter series.
Warnings: Fem!Reader, Very minor Yandere Themes (like barely there), minor NSFW, graphic descriptions of pregnancy and medical procedures, Vomiting.
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
You don't really remember that night it happened. But, it only happened once and after you swore you'd never drink again. The hangover after that night had been one of the worst of your short life.
In fact, the sticky feeling between your legs and bitter taste on your tongue had also added to your decision to swear of these college parties. Luckily, you have enough of your memory to remember that you and your partner from that night had both been willing even when wasted. Even if you couldn't remember their name. Or, their face.
It takes you a while to notice. One missed cycle wasn't anything to freak out about, and it was exam season. The stress had probably caused the nausea. It wasn't until you were heading down to breakfast one morning and smelled the burnt eggs in the kitchen that Stephanie had burnt that you realized something might be wrong.
You, of course, ignore it. It was just a fluke. Burnt eggs weren't appetizing to anyone. But, then you nearly faint walking through the perfume section after looking to restock your favorite bottle of scent.
The doctor you finally went to another week later had asked about your cycle and the last time you had been intimate with someone. That's when the reality of things started to set in. You hadn't even thought to do an at home test to check. Your doctor was kind though, saying they could just do a quick urine sample and blood test just to make sure. It might be something else.
The next few minutes felt like ages. But, when the Doctor came back to tell you the positive results you panicked. Not as in panicked as in you broke down, but you threw up a mask. You're good at doing that. You must get it from your father.
When she asks you if this is good news or bad news you can't help, but blurt that it's good. Great even. Which causes her to beam at you. Before you know it, you're being handed a complementary diaper bag with formula and tiny bottles while being given the rundown on your possible due date and future appointments. You nodded you're head along with the information, sliding the paper's into the diaper bag as she hands them to you.
But, then she turns to you with delight and tells you that the Ultra Sound tech has an opening and you're just far along enough they can do your first ultrasound. It'll only be a thirty minute wait.
After nodding along once more, you go back into the waiting room. Holding your new bag with white knuckles and falling into deep thought.
This is happening. But, how? Are you even fit to be a parent? You've hardly ever been loved. How are you going to love someone else? How are you going to do this? What will the family think? What will your few friends think? You don't even remember who their father is. This is impossible. You're not ready. You'll never be ready. That churning feeling is in your stomach again and you feel that single piece of toast you had for breakfast about to come back up.
The thirty minutes fly by with those thoughts in your head. They still swirl in your head as your go back into the ultrasound room.
It's dark, but the tech had few soft lights on in the room. Its actually kind of... cozy.
What's not cozy it the tech telling you that she's going to stick a wand up your bits so you could see the baby. Your eyes screwing shut at the cold invasive feeling.
But, when you open them, she turns the screen for you to see. It's almost amazing how fast the image appears on the screen.
And, their moving. Actually moving. You end up laughing at the sight, causing the screen to flicker and the little blob to move. When the nurse plays the heart beat you can feel yours stuttering in your chest.
Watching them bounce in there with each laugh, it’s easy for the next words to spill out of your mouth.
“Oh, I’m gonna love you.”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
Every step after that feels remarkably less lonely. It’s not just you anymore. You have someone who you’re going to love.
You don’t bother telling the Family. Bruce would just lecture you on being reckless while the other’s would judge you for it.
Honestly, you don’t care if they did. This is your baby.
Funnily enough, for a house full of detectives and highly intelligent vigilantes no one actually notices. Not even Cassandra. It’s a bit insulting how much they don’t pay attention. But, your symptoms soon make it so you don’t care.
The waves of exhaustion, the way everything smells strong and certain things make you want to gag. Heartburn that burns your throat. The subtle cravings that make you cry when you can’t fulfill them. Thankfully you finished your exams because you were too tired to even move from your bed most mornings due to strange nightmares.
Eventually, someone does notice. And, it’s not anyone you would expect.
Of all things you cried over on the pantry floor, it had to be salt and vinegar chips. They hadn’t been what you wanted, but it was too late to go get french fries and a smoothie at this hour in Gotham. And, you stuffed them down your throat with angry tears.
It was Stephanie of all people to find you. You gave her a sharp glare when she seemed to grow wide eyed. Normally you avoid her gaze, but you were quite pissed about having chips in your mouth and not fries. As her eyes grew wider, your nose wrinkled in further annoyance at her.
Just as you’re about to tell her off, she speaks.
“Do you— um, want something else?”
It’s pitiful how fast your snarl turns into a pleading pout.
“Yes, please. I want fries. I want Jokerized fries so badly.” You practically blubber when she gives you a pointed nod towards the car garage.
It takes you a bit to get off the floor despite the fact that your bump is hardly noticeable, but Stephanie noticed the extremely subtle curve.
“How far?” She asks hesitantly, looking from the bump to your face.
You also hesitant for a moment, looking up at her with tears on your cheeks and a serious look in your eyes. “14 Weeks.”
Her eyebrows raise and a wiry pout appears on her face. “Damn. You’re smaller than I was at that time, so not fair.”
The slightly surprised that information gives you almost makes you pause. But, if you had you would’ve probably toppled back down to the pantry floor.
“Explain on the way?” You ask, still a bit nervous. The two of you had never been close since you moved into the manor less than a handful of years back.
“Sure.” She grins, leading the way.
As you both walk, she whispers. “Does Bruce know?”
“Don’t know. Don’t care.”
“Ah.” Stephanie managed to hide the winces from you.
When you two finally make into the car, you’re already feeling better about life. You’re about to have your fries, and possibly a shake too. You didn’t expect to have any company, but surprisingly it’s nice.
Stephanie drives, and get the fries to go. Munching on them as Stephanie drives you back to the manor. Her sharing her own pregnancy experience.
"Wait, so Tim dated you when you were pregnant with another dudes kid? Babe, forget being me being small, you got game."
"Damn right I do." She says smugly, stuffing her own fries in her mouth. "So, um, do you wanna talk about what happened with you?"
And, just like that your mood shifts.
"No."
"Oh- Oh! I'm sorr-" She starts up, and you can tell she's assuming the worst.
"Don't you start, Stephanie." You interrupt with a pointed glare. "I don't want to talk about it because it's none of y'all's business."
That makes her cough on her french fry. "Wait, wait, what do you mean? Don't you want help?"
"Nah, I got it." Comes your stubborn reply, glaring out the window as you dip your fry into the cheesecake milkshake.
"... You should tell Bruce." She suggest after a moment of awkward silence.
"What? So he can ignore his grandchild, too?" Your filter is none existent with your hormones all out of wack.
"He doesn't ignore you-"
"Oh, yes the fuck he does." Your firmly state. Growing a bit heated. "Y'all all figgin do."
Stephanie is about to roll her eyes, chalking your words to you just being unreasonable. But, then the thought starts to creep upon her with each passing building when she realizes this is the first time she's actually hung out with you. Ever.
"I'm sorry." She murmurs to you. The silence falling over you both as the cars continues back to the manor.
"... I'm only forgiving you because you bought my fries..."
"Really?! That's all I had to do?"
"What? I was desperate for this- Wait! Hang on. Stop the car. Stop the car-"
"What? Why?! Are you- OH! Fuck!"
You ended up regurgitating up all the fries you had just eaten. Right into your lap.
"Oooo, that's nasty." Stephanie says, cracking the windows.
"Is it bad that I still want to eat them?" You mumble to her, eyeing the remaining fries.
"Please, please, wait till we get back or I'm gonna hurl, too."
"Fine." Comes your reply. Your eyes drifting shut for a moment. "If you tell anyone I'm gonna tell Cassandra about your crush on her."
"How did you- Frick, you are more like Bruce then I realize." Her voice going from panic to begrudging realization.
"Now, that's offenseive."
"Oh, come on. You're kids gonna have some of Bruce's DNA too."
"Eww. Eww. Don't remind me."
The banter between you both coming back with ease.
When you make it back to the manor, parting ways for the night. You feel at ease. You may have made have finally made a new friend in all this and gained a pillar of support.
As you shower and finish off your fries, you can't help but think about the apartments you had been looking at. Wondering what Stephanie will thinking of your nursery ideas.
Down in the cave, Stephanie slowly walks down the steps. Realizing this might have just gotten complicated.
"You okay, Steph?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.”
☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️
A/N: Soooooo, what if, and hear me out, wee add some baby daddy drama to this?
A/N: Please note, I write a Reader that DID NOT grow up with the Bat Family, which means we could have some really really juicy drama here. But, we could just keep the options limited to just close friends of the Bat family.
A/N: What do y'all think? Baby Daddy drama? One of the Bat Boys the Daddy? One of the other vigilantes? Should I do a Baby Daddy poll? I just feel like this is an opportunity.
A/N: Also, Stephanie was a teen mom in some comics from my research. Which I think adds to this and gives her a better chance of bonding with Reader until shit goes down.
#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#batfam x reader#batfamily x reader#platonic batfam#yandere dc#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfamily x reader#anon ask#answered asks#pregnant!reader
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would you like to tell us about your research on virginity?
but also...wdym STIs aren't as scary as we think??? I was told most of them are incurable? I know you can make aids untrasmittable and that they've even succeded in curing it a couple times but that's about it. I would love to be educated about this
yeah, the basic idea with the virginity project was that the whole concept of virginity is pretty bullshit in the context in which it was initially significant, namely cisgender women being penetrated by cisgender men, so as soon as you take it outside of that context by introducing gay and trans sexuality it totally falls apart. I mean, hell, it stops working if you even look at two cishet people doing literally anything OTHER than penis-in-vagina sex. I tripped up so many people initially when I started asking questions like "okay, so you don't think a woman loses her virginity from a man going down on her. so what if it's two women? what's the difference?" and just really getting people to face down their very penis-centered view of the sex, to the result of several people telling me that it kind of made them reevaluate what they actually think of as the first time they had sex. it's also fascinating to either read other people's accounts or discuss firsthand how queer people have either tried to make themselves fit into the binary of virginity - queer man disagreeing over whether or not you have to have penetrative anal sex to lose your virginity or oral sex is sufficient, a fascinating case of a lesbian who felt that have sex with other cis women didn't "count" and asked a cis male friend to have sex with her just so she could feel satisfied that she'd lost her virginity - or abandon it entirely. Hanne Blank's book Virgin was a formative starting point, and it really exploded for me from there.
as for the STIs - hey, bad news! you fell victim to the scare tactics used to make people afraid of sex! almost all sexually transmitted infections are very easy to treat and cure with the right medicine, which is why it's important to get tested regularly and check in with your healthcare provider at the first sign of something amiss. pubic lice, scabies, trichomoniasis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis - all of those are pretty easy to get rid of with some help from your doctor and a run to the pharmacy!
the major exceptions are the 4 H's: herpes, HIV, HPV, and hepatitis B.
herpes is with you forever but is an incredibly mild companion to share your body with, considering most people never experience any notable symptoms and those who do can curb the severity with medicine.
it's also worth noting that herpes is so common as to be virtually ubiquitous; the World Health Organization consistently estimates that somewhere around 80% of the world's adult population is carrying herpes simplex virus 1 or herpes simplex virus 2. a great deal of those people don't even get it from having sex, but rather by catching HSV-1 from a parent or other people they come is close contact with as a child.
you're actually thinking of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) when you mention AIDS becoming untransmittable, but that's still a very good thing! the care available for people with HIV has come incredibly far since AIDS first became known and claimed so many lives, and today it's more than possible for people infected with HIV to live long, healthy lives by taking the proper medication to manage their viral load.
with management, people with HIV will not develop AIDS (which happens when the immune system is sufficiently depleted by HIV) and by consistently taking their medication people with HIV can become undetectable (the viral load in their body is too small to be detected or measured in tests), at which point they are unable to transmit the virus to other people.
HPV (human paillomavirus) comes in many different strains, most of which are absolutely harmless and go away on their own after a couple of months or years of freeloading in your body. I cannot emphasize this enough: HPV is so common that virtually everyone who has sex has, will have, or has had it in their lives, and the vast, VAST majority of those people will never be troubled by it literally at all.
the trouble comes from a few strains of HPV that can cause genital warts, and a few others that can cause cancers in the throat, anus, cervix, vulva, vagina, and penis. while HPV can't be treated, you can reduce your risk of developing cancer by getting the HPV vaccine if you haven't already and, if you have a cervix, getting regular Pap smears to catch early warning signs of cancerous developments.
hepatitis B is a viral infection that targets the liver. in rare cases it can cause chronic health problems that can be very dangerous, but I have to emphasize that's not common. in most adults who get hep B, there will be no symptoms and it will resolve itself in a matter of weeks. the infection is riskiest in children, but at least in America most people have received vaccines against hepatitis B as babies since the 90s.
in conclusion: get your shots, take your medicine, use protection, get tested, and talk to your doctor, but know that if there's one thing humans are good at it's figuring out how to manage STIs. we've been doing it for a long time - most sexually transmitted infections and parasites have been with us since before we we became modern humans - so we're really good at it!
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Last one was great!
Poor arrogant reader soon will be fired from her position as head of the Family for some fabricated case, she is now basically jobless with all her belongings and money arrested and guards are not letting her leave Penacony.
She is such a mess now, so stresssed out with her career ruined she isnt even noticing that she hadnt got her period for several months.
But who will she come for help, who will accept a mess like her at such low point of her life?🤔
Of course our angelic prick will take her in. Reader doesnt have a choice to be honest. She doesnt have money to pay for shelter, food and medical care for her condition anymore?
I also hc Penacony being really expensive place especially in terms of healthcare. And abortions are strictly prohibited.
Well, clean house, homemade meals and some other nightly services could cover those expences. Our arrogant girlie will have to humble herself a bit.
And kid being born out of wedlock? Not on Sunday's watch!
Imagine some time later her former coworkers, heads of other Families or her former subordinates witnessing reader going out for groceries or just going out for a walk with Sunday holding her hand firmly?
She does not seems like arrogant bitch anymore, her belly is swollen, clothes are modest, matching rings at couple's fingers.
so sorry for the long delay in replying!!
I've been meaning to find the time to write this... and thank you for writing it in such detail. super love the content about arrogant reader get humiliated. this is awesome ���💗💖 sunday brings it all to you but you started it first, right?
part 1
cw: yandere, dub-con, brainwashing, mind control, housewife kink, pregnancy, inappropriate traditional concepts (language about serving husband and family)
Sunday used to always forgive your arrogance and intrigue, but that's the past.
Since you like this trick so much, Sunday brings these back to you. In this dreamy and fallen city, your reputation is completely destroyed in half an hour. (He was at the party, shaking his glass and socializing with the guests.) Some Bloodhound family guards burst into your office and led you away , in full view of everyone and a lot of chatter. They grabbed your hands and dragged you forward. (He stretched his hands into fists, put them to his lips and chuckled.) It was almost a crime of betrayal to Xipe and The Family. Listen to harsh words and sign documents. (The money ejected from the machine flies into the sky. The scale of the clock is turning.)
These days of interrogation have left you exhausted. One day, you open the door to your home with the usual verification, but there is a notice on the door that it has been sealed and frozen. That was locked and confiscated. A cold stab of fear stabbed your back. There is no way to book a hotel room or rent a new house. Your bank account is also blocked.
The final straw is the realization that you haven't had your period in months. Used the last of your credit points to take a pregnancy test. The result is a baby growing inside you. There was no doubt that it was that wing bastard's baby. A baby destined to have a halo and wings.
Your eyes were sore, and tears welled up in your eyes and flowed down your cheeks.
The eyes of birds these days are staring at you from every height, corner, and alley. Your pregnancy test results are sent to Sunday's phone. His glove patted your back gently. He whispers to you, the aura continuing to send out gentle waves, shushing you. You whimpered, pushing him away in annoyance. "Get away, you bastard!"
"I just did to you what you've always wanted to do to me. Don't make a fuss." The rising corners of the oak leader's mouth only added fuel to his raging anger at you. What happened to him? He's really terrible! You point at him and take a few steps back. "Don't fucking touch me! You hypocrite."
He frowned.
"No swearing."
"What the fuck-" Just like last time, a cheerful and harmonious arrangement of notes penetrated your mind. That ethereal and strange light appears before your eyes and captures your thoughts. You obediently followed Sunday to his mansion.
What Sunday offers you comes at a price. He provided for you, after all, didn't he? You can no longer be so arbitrary, arrogant and rude. You need to pray at the dinner table, kiss him on the cheek, and be grateful to Xipe and the nutritious food he provides you. Or have him pinch your cheeks and feed you. Now that you have no job and no money, you should have time to sweep the floor, right? Keeping the house tidy is important. He checked the dust on the vase and scanned the floor. Of course don’t forget to suck his cock and spread your legs at night. He will be very, very careful. (Sex during pregnancy is always slow. You whimper when milk is secreted from your buds.)
And witnessing that humiliation! Yes, in the past, you and he competed in the workplace, and the atmosphere was tense. Everyone knows you hate Sunday. And now other family members can see the changes in you. You held his hand tightly, intertwining your fingers with your belly swollen. Those luxurious clothes of the past have disappeared, replaced by your simple, loose skirts.
#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#sunday x reader#yandere honkai star rail#honkai star rail x you#yandere hsr#yandere hsr x reader#honkai x reader
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𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐯 ; 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞
pairing: jason todd x fem! reader
summary: when everything seems go, at least start, to go right, you're getting to actually enjoy the thoughts of your pregnancy, things take a turn. no, not a turn, a fucking spin, a descent in a downward spiral. basicallly, you're fucked.
word count: 10,3k (yes, i'm actually very surprised i managed this) warnings: pregnancy, medical talks, bad parenting and terrible fathers.
a/n: it took me too long to finish, i know. but i did enjoy my time in carnaval before almost dying from a flu. the chapter is long and is very important to the future of the story, so please, don't be mad at me for it. take breaks, eat while your reading, idk, do your thing. ily and i missed you ♡♡♡
reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡
links: previous ; next ; series masterlist ; general masterlist
You thought that telling Jason about your pregnancy would be the trigger that would set your life into a downward spiral. That everything would be different once it was done with. You would be different, he would be different, and the world would be different too. However, the days that followed could not have been any more normal.
Although your mind was still clouded with anxious pregnancy thoughts, your days went on as usual. You woke up early, exercised and went to work, just to come back home hours later to do whatever it was you got on your mind that night before going straight to bed. The only indications of your condition were the looming thoughts and the excessive tiredness you carried everywhere with you.
It was like the world around you didn’t get the memo your whole life was about to be totally different just a few months from now..
And the world didn’t have to. It didn’t care that Yn Sn was pregnant. It would continue spinning around, circling the sun, like it always did. Day by day, minute by minute, like nothing had changed. And in the great scheme of things, nothing had. You did. You were the one who had changed. You were different, or at least you would become. Good or bad, nothing was gonna be like before. You would keep changing as the world would always be the same.
In the great scheme of things, the world didn’t revolve around you. Your life wasn’t a linear movie plot, troubleless and predictable. It was proving to you right then and there that it wouldn’t hold your hand and give you a rulebook on how to proceed with every little thing. You were on your own to figure out this journey. It was now about you. And him.
At first, you only noticed the small differences. You were tired, more than usual. It seemed like every move you used to make swiftly was now heavy and took you double the effort to complete. Two days after your talk, Jason went back to the clinic to pick up the full test results, and had it delivered to you at your door. You didn’t invite him to stay, nor did he ask you to enter, and you opened the envelope to find out you were about five to six weeks pregnant by yourself. It meant the baby was now growing faster and faster, and providing all that extra energy was what had been draining you off yours.
Your trips to the toilet became more frequent, even if your water intake had remained the same. That had raised one or two eyebrows at work, but considering the amount of things you were all working on, no one had given those bathroom runs their full attention. However, your new breast size didn’t go as unnoticed. In fact, it became a big topic of discussion between your coworkers, where each person tried to bet which surgeon had given you a cup size that was almost double of what yours originally was.
Then, there was also him. Every single day since you’d broken the news, Jason woke you up with a good morning text. He’d ask if you had slept well, if you were alright, and if you had gotten sick at any point the day before or if you craved or wanted anything. He knew it was about time you got morning sickness and cravings, and he wanted to do what was best to keep you and his baby in perfect condition.
He seemed to care about this baby a lot, even this soon. Not even the most positive scenario you could’ve come up with had you imagining he’d be this sweet, this nice. Actually caring and attentive. Yet, here you were, and he made sure to always tend to your needs whenever he was needed. But he wasn’t needed that often. Except for the good morning texts and your subsequent daily health report, you two didn’t talk much.
Nessie, your best friend, was also really into the idea of this baby. Daily, she’d flood your messages with baby videos and pics, pregnancy tips and motherhood articles. She might as well be the mother of this child, because she was certainly more excited than its real one. She had even told her own mother about it, letting her know she was going to be an “auntie” and how she should bring gifts the next time she comes over to visit.
You haven’t even considered telling your parents about it yet, brushing the thoughts away every time they’d come up in your mind. In fact, most thoughts about your pregnancy were brushed aside, as you were still not ready to fully accept this new reality of yours.
Thus, a couple of weeks went by since you’d last seen Jason. As normal as they’ve ever been. Then, it was a Thursday night. One where you found yourself spread on your sofa, craving sweets and a large pizza, with your best friend sat on your living room floor, rambling excitedly about something you weren’t paying much attention to.
“... and, even though everyone knows he has a fucking girlfriend, he was at the party with not only one, but two other girls. He’s such an asshole!” Nessie spoke about whatever season of a TV show she was rewatching. But your mind couldn’t have been any further.
You stared at your phone screen, reading and rereading, again and again, the last messages in your chat with Jason. He had just asked about your day, if you felt sick or anything, and instead of giving him your usual and very formal reply, you went on and on about your sudden desire for dessert pizza. You didn’t know what had gotten into you, but your fingers were faster than your conscience and without a proper thought, the message was sent.
. 8:24 PM
hey, how are you feeling?
. in desperate need of a good chocolate pizza . id kill for it . not really kill for it . yk...
🤣
You hoped you could be faster and delete it before he got a hold of his phone again, but the laughing emoji told you you were too late for that. Now, you laid there, overthinking your text when there was nothing you could do about it. Much like your pregnancy. Dumbass.
“Yn, are you even listening?” your friend called.
“Y-yeah. It was a really bad season, that one.” Without even moving to look in her direction, you gave her a half assed reply.
“Yn… What are you talking about?” she asked you, confused.
“Aren’t we talking about the Bachelor?” you tried to confirm, now moving on your side to see her eye to eye. However, her incredulous face told you you’d completely missed the topic. Offering her an apologetic smile, she rolled her eyes at you and threw you a pillow.
“No! I was talking about Dick Grayson?” She raised an eyebrow and you looked at her with your brows furrowed. “Gotham’s resident playboy? The one that was seeing like three different girls at the same time? Gosh you were such a killjoy, all I wanted to do was gossip. It doesn’t hurt anybody and it’s fun.”
You let out a laugh at your friend’s dramatics, telling her to keep going with her story, promising to actually pay attention to it this time.
“Okay, he was seeing this girl officially. I think her name is Barbara. Red head, tall, pretty as fuck. Okay. However, he was supposedly with not only one, but two side pieces. Like, for real, such a fuck boy.”
“Ew,” you engaged. “Not even a fuck boy, an asshole. What does his girlfriend think about this?”
“I don’t know.” She threw her hands in the air. “I don’t even think she knows about all of this, if I’m being honest. And if she knows s….” Ding dong. Your friend’s story was cut short by the sound of your doorbell reverberating through your living room. “Are you expecting somebody?” she asked. You shook your head.
Sitting up, you waited for the doorbell to ring one more time, just to be sure there was really someone at your door. You looked between it and your friend, suddenly worried about who the hell would be bothering you at this hour of the night. Standing up, you walked straight to the door with care. Silent steps taking you to the peeping hole.
Looking through it, a tall, sasquatch like frame you’d grown to recognize rather easily, stood on the other side. In his hands, you caught a glimpse of a few plastic bags, his helmet, and a cardboard box.
“H-hey,” you greeted him awkwardly when you opened the door, a bit surprised to see him there.
“Hi. Heard you wanted some pizza.” He winked, lifting up what you now could identify as two cardboard boxes exhaling the greasy smell of your desired meal.
“You didn’t have to,” you said, sliding a hand through your hair. It was just a silly text, you thought, but perhaps it wasn’t for him.
Shrugging, he dismissed your words. “I was craving some junk food too, anyway. And I hadn’t seen you in a while so…”
You bought me pizza? And brought it to my door?
“Oh my god, where are my manners? Please, come in. We’re in the living room,” you told him, freeing your spot to allow him to enter your apartment for the first time
“We?” he asked, and you didn’t have to turn around to know he was lifting a brow at you.
“Me and my friend, Nessie,” you said, showing him to the other girl sitting on the floor by the center table. By now, she had a clearly amused smile on her face, and her eyes sparkled with an excitement that had annoyed you for some reason. “Jason, this is Nessie. Nessie, this is Jason,” you introduced them.
Jason extended his larger hand for her to shake, and she did it way too excitedly. “Oh my, I’m finally meeting your baby daddy,” she sang. You kicked her right at the ribs.
“Nice to meet you too,” Jason said through a breathy laugh. “Although I have to say I’m still not used to being called baby daddy. I mean, you’re just the second person to tell me that, but it’s still weird.”
“Tell me about it,” you wondered out loud, but soon your mind clicked to the fact someone else had called him that when, as far as you knew, only he, you and Nessie knew about your pregnancy.
“So… What did you bring us?” Nessie immediately asked, like the hungry dog she had been all night, scanning through the bags and the pizza boxes he had placed on the center table and pulling you away from your own head..
“Oh, I got you your dessert pizza, like you asked. And I also got a pepperoni one, but I wasn’t sure if you would like it,” he explained, messing up his hair.
“I didn’t ask for it,” you blankly stated.. It wasn’t a lie. You didn’t actually ask for it, you just hinted you were highly interested in one. But having him show up with the object of your cravings at your door not even an hour later had you feeling a bit uneasy, uncomfortable with the fact you kind of made him do it. He stared at you wide eyed, blinking repeatedly, unsure how to proceed.
“Y-yeah. But, I-I just thought I would do you this favor. A-and it had been a while since we talked and…”
“And we are very thankful for it!” your friend cut him off, gladly pushing the awkwardness away. “We were starving cuz this one right here only had salad in her fridge.”
“I’m sorry if I haven’t had the energy to go grocery shopping.” You stuck your tongue out.
“I wouldn’t mind doing it for you, if you want it,” Jason offered, sitting down on the floor beside Nessie.
“I’ll get it done,” you said, following his move. “Eventually.”
Silently, you each decided to focus on all the food ahead of you. You couldn’t lie, you weren’t sort of enjoying all of this. Not only had he brought you pizza, and the dessert pizza you’d been craving, but he had brought you mini burgers from a place downtown you loved and even a slice of cheesecake.
“Have you checked any of the providers I sent you?” Jason asked, breaking the comfortable silence you had just settled in.
For the last few days, he had sent you tons of options for prenatal providers and doctors, something you knew you should’ve been more attentive to, but that you were avoiding like everything else regarding this pregnancy. You knew that, by this point, you should’ve already scheduled an appointment with a doctor, chosen a provider, and started looking into birthing options and other pregnancy needs. But you just couldn’t get your head into it.
Jason knew you were still not sure about this. The mention of the pregnancy or the baby clearly makes you anxious and uncomfortable. He wanted to take things slow, at your pace, but there were things you couldn’t really postpone, and prenatal checkups were one of them. So, he kept sending you options, just to see if you’d ever reply to any of them, but they always went unanswered. It wasn’t his intention to come to your house to talk about it, in specific, but he had to bring it up at some point.
When he arrived home from your apartment the other night, he immediately called his brother. Dick would know what to do, right? He’s the one with plenty of female experience. Still, he never made the silly mistake of getting one of them pregnant.
“That’s rough, buddy,” was all that he managed to say through the phone. Very helpful indeed. However, he did leave you with one single useful piece of advice: you should find a doctor.
Thus, he proceeded with his research. It felt like he had seen three thousand different doctor’s names, and a plenty of options of healthcare providers. Neither one of them sounded cheap, but it was a necessary expense if he wanted to make sure everything was going to be alright.
And you knew that too. It wasn’t as if you hadn’t checked any of the options. It was just so overwhelming. Every link for a website he had sent was filled with words and expressions you’d never even heard of, leaving you more confused about pregnancies than you’d been before. It was honestly so stressful that you had started to purposefully ignore it.
“I haven’t had the time,” you finally replied, picking out the pepperoni slices off your pizza, pilling them up on the side to eat them all at once. You heard him sighing deeply, and you could feel the annoyance by the way his shoulders trembled. You knew his patience had a limit, and he’d been so sweet and kind to you thus far that simply checking out the options was the least you could’ve done, and yet you didn’t even manage to do that. “It’s… a lot.”
Looking over at him, you observed him with his eyes glued to his pizza slice. You wanted to read his mind, to know what was going through his head at this moment. Was he mad at you? At your seemingly incompetence to do one simple thing? Gosh. You felt the anxious rumbling at your stomach, the same one from weeks ago, and you wanted to curl down and cry.
Why were you like this? What has gotten into you?
“I have an aunt who is an ob/gyn,” Nessie meddled in. “She’s pretty busy these days, but I could try and ask her to see you. If you want.”
Expectantly, Jason watched as you took your time to think. It was a good option, really. If she was busy, it could only mean she was a good doctor, right? And she was in Nessie's family.
“Yeah,” you agreed. A sigh of relief coming from the boy beside you. “I think it would be fine.”
“Great,” she celebrated. Standing up, she grabbed the empty cardboard box and walked to the kitchen. “I’ll call her tomorrow.”
Left alone with Jason for the first time tonight, you returned your attention to your half eaten pizza slice, desperate to focus on anything other than him, but turns out your brain had other plans. It constantly thought of him. He was right beside you, and that’s okay, but you could be occupying your mind with something else.
He too played around with his food, with his hands holding on to an energy drink he’d popped out of one of his bags. You caught a glimpse of the slight movement he did when he tried to offer you some of that same beverage, but he quickly realized perhaps it wasn’t good for the baby.
His veiny forearms were just inches from yours, making the hairs on your body rise up from this almost contact. It was like your body knew he was right there and tried to reach with anything it could get closer to him. You would be lying if you said you didn’t miss his touch. Not in a sexual way, like you’d been, shamefully, at the studio the other day. You missed his bear-like embrace that swept all worry away, that comforted you and helped you relax among so much stress and anxiety.
“I can pick you up. Take you to the doctor by car,” he offered, but something inside you told you he would accept your refusal as a possible response.
“Thank you, I’d love it,” you thanked, searching for his icy blue orbs. You could feel his fingers against yours, rubbing against your skin and sending a shiver up your spine. “And Jason, I’m sorry for what I said earlier, about the pizza thing. I’m just not used to all of this yet.”
“It’s fine, Yn,” he said, finding your eyes with a beaming smile next to his. “We’ll figure things out, eventually.”
Turns out Nessie’s aunt really was busy. Not just busy, but booked and “famous”. If you were to go by the sheer prices attached to her services, she was the Steve Jobs of obstetricians/gynecologists. It got you worried at first, because you weren’t sure your insurance would cover such costs, but Jason told you to not think about it, She managed to fit you, god knows how, in an appointment another two weeks later. But you couldn’t complain, because if you weren't “family”, you’d get to your first appointment with a baby already in your arms.
Every book you’d read, many of them being Jason’s recommendations, told you your first appointment should be scheduled between eight to twelve weeks, and as far as you could tell, you would be just around at your appointment.
The two weeks went by swiftly, and soon, it was the day of your first prenatal check up.
You were at work all day, as usual. Your morning had been chaotic, with the beginning stages of preparations for the upcoming spring issue keeping everyone on the edge. However, thankfully, the afternoon treated you all more kindly. Although your feet still ached from all the running around you’d already done, you still roamed around collecting papers, portfolios and coffee cups for your boss.
Pushing the massive glass door open with your shoulder, you entered Sandra’s office with her sample book in hand. The clock approached your leaving time, today a few hours earlier than normal due to “medical” reasons. Not a full lie, but a lie nonetheless. Those kept on repeating, and for the looks of it, they wouldn’t stop any time soon.
You just weren’t ready to tell anyone else yet. Perhaps it wasn’t the right moment, as it was still too early. Perhaps it was you not wanting to accept reality. The more people knew about it, the more real it would become. And you knew very well it wasn’t something you were ready to face, even though at this point you had no escape route left.
“Ym, before you leave, just let Ibra know we’ll be dropping by tomorrow to decide on the new photoshoot details,” your boss requested, not lifting her eyes off the papers on her desk.
“I already called him earlier, he sent you the models for you to check beforehand,” you informed, placing the large portfolio before her table. After rambling out your words, an involuntary sigh came out of you, a sign of your body’s exhaustion after a long day. “We’ll also get the Gucci sets by tomorrow, like expected.”
“Good,” was all you heard in response, and knowing her well, you took it as a sign to leave her to her work. Turning on your heel, you walked back to the door before her voice stopped you right at your tracks. “Yn, are you alright?”
Surprised by her question, one you’d never heard come from her directed at you, your head snapped back towards her direction. “I-I’m fine. It’s just been a long day,” you explained.
“Hmm,” she hummed, removing her designer glasses from her perfectly sculpted nose. “Have you been drinking a lot of water?”
“Yes?” you sort of asked, growing confused.
“Good, it’s important to keep hydrated during your pregnancy.”
You swallowed dry. Your eyes popped from its sockets, and you swore your breathing had stopped. “Sandra, you must be mistaken.”
“Am I?” she simply asked, raising an eyebrow before returning her gaze to her notes. Opening your mouth, you tried to answer something, anything, but no proper sentence seemed to be formed in reply, as your brain was caught completely off guard by her knowledge of your secret. “I don’t know how long you planned on hiding it, nor why, but you were silly to think I wouldn’t notice. You seem to take longer to finish a simple task, you avoided salmon at lunch and said it had a smell, and your size has increased. You forgot I have a 14-month-old at home and a five year old daughter, I know the signs when I see it. Congratulations, from what I know of you, you’re gonna be a great mother. Just make sure to find your substitute at least a month before your due date so they have the time to properly learn the job till you’re gone.”
Staring at your reflection on the glass walls your eyes stop at your stomach. Are you already showing enough? Is she the only person to notice? Of course you didn’t pick the best outfit to hide it today. Your clothes barely fit you anymore, so you had to rely on your dresses, the small collection you owned, to be able to build an outfit. And certainly, the ribbed fabric of the one you wore today didn’t hide any of your curves, no matter how tiny they were.
You stood there, still, unmoving, flabbergasted. If Sandra was capable of so easily finding out your secret, it would be in no time till others could do the same. It was a secret with days counted anyways, you wouldn’t be able to hide it forever even if you wanted to.
“That’s all,” you heard her say, breaking you from your sudden malfunction and getting back to operating mode. You fled her room faster than you ever remember doing, and sank on your chair with the weight of the world weighing you down. Your hands shook, sweating cold, and your heart beat a bit faster. With deep breaths, you tried to keep yourself under control.
“Yn,” you heard someone call, making you jump slightly on your seat. Looking up at the source of the voice, you found the raven haired boy now known as your baby daddy. In your office, right in front of you.
“Jason, what are you doing here?” you scream-whispered from behind your desk. He looked at you confused, as if you’d forgotten your plans for today.
“They let me in when I told them I was here to pick you up,” he explained. “The appointment, remember?”
Standing up hurriedly, you shoved your phone, your planner and the rest of your stuff in the designer bag you’d gotten off the samples given to the magazine. Fleeing your desk, you looked around to see if any of the other secretaries were anywhere close, grabbed Jason’s hand and pulled him with you out of your workplace. “You were supposed to call me when you arrived,” you scolded, pushing open the door.
“Sorry, you just weren’t picking up your phone,” he stated. Of course I wasn't, I was working.
Dragging him to the elevator, you successfully managed to push him inside before you entered and watched the door slowly sliding closed without having stumbled into any of your coworkers. Sighing in relief, you allowed your head to rest on the metallic wall. A small win for today. You were taking any victories at this point.
“Who are we running from?” You felt Jason’s breath on your ear, making you jump again. His soft giggle let you know that he found that entertaining. Let’s hope he’d enjoy your elbow to his ribs. “Ouch, I’m sorry.”
“I’m not running from anyone,” you said, crossing your arms on your chest. “I just don’t want to start any gossip in the office. These ladies do like to talk about other people’s lives.”
“Weren’t you and Nessie doing just that the other night?” he teased.
“That’s different.”
“How?” he gave you a sly smirk.
“It was not about my life,” you argued, offering him a smirk in return.
Jason shook his head, leaning on the wall right beside you, close enough that your shoulders touched. But different to the first time you felt him this close, you were not nervous or about to cut his head off. You were actually enjoying his presence. What an era to be alive.
“You look beautiful today,” he complimented you out of nowhere, bumping your shoulder with his playfully.
“You don’t look half as bad,” you replied, and watched both your smiles on the crooked reflection of the elevator door.
It wasn’t long till you arrived at the clinic, but it was enough time for you to fall asleep. Shortly after entering the car, when he was already cutting through other vehicles to avoid the traffic, Jason noticed your head hanging to the side, and even if he tried to fix it back in place, it would instantly fall once again.
He remembered how exhausting your job looked that couple of hours he witnessed by himself, and now must not have been different. Especially considering your pregnancy and the tiredness he’d had been reading about. So he let you nap quietly on your seat, making sure to watch out for your neck as much as he could while handling the road.
You were still groggy when you stepped into the white halls, needing guidance to find your way around. With his hand on your lower back, he took you to the reception, where a bored looking receptionist typed something away for what seemed like an eternity.
“Hi,” you greeted sweetly, a tone he wasn’t much used to hearing from you. “I have an appointment with Doctor Mikaelson.”
“What is your name?” asked the receptionist with an annoying nasal voice that made Jason want to punch her for no other reason than it was just annoying.
“Yn Sn. It’s spelled…” you continued, giving out every bit of information the woman needed. And it was a lot. As your first visit, there was a lot to be filled, and he stood to the side, watching as you answered all of her questions with a patience he hadn’t seen in many people.
There was something in the way you talked to the receptionist, with such poise and connectedness, that had Jason hooked. Leaning his elbow on the tall desk, and resting his cheek in his palm, he watched on as you continued to reply to each and every single question. The strong lighting did not ruin your look in the slightest, and in fact, Jason thought it somehow made you look prettier, something he believed no one else could manage.
The faint winds from the air conditioning blew on your hair, giving you your own magazine photoshoot ambiance. You did not stutter, nor did you take long to answer, all the words flowing from your lips even though he paid no mind to any of them. It wasn’t like the angry girl he used to meet at the gym, nor the one that showed up upset at his doorstep, or even the quiet one you would become around him recently. And he liked to think this was the real one, or at least a better glimpse at it than you’d ever let him see.
“Jason?” he heard you calling, and it was his turn to jump from his place. Giving you an awkward ‘yeah’, he let you repeat whatever it was you had said. “She said I’ll need to take some tests. Would you keep my bag, please?”
“Sure,” he said, fixing his posture and grabbing the rather heavy bag off your hands. “I’ll be sitting right here when you come back.
You nodded, offering him an actual smile, before walking off beside a nurse. He found a seat not too far from where you two were just standing, and watched as you moved away, swaying your hips side to side. Taking his eyes off your ass, he tried to focus on something else, catching a glimpse of the tiny pump on your belly. It wasn’t too noticeable yet, and might as well be some bloating from a heavy meal, but he’d wanted to think it was his baby right there, showing it’s first signs of life just under your care.
He’d been getting excited. Too excited, perhaps, for a baby that wasn’t even planned. But he couldn’t help it. When the initial fear was gone, all he could think about was the baby. His baby. He was going to have a baby.
All his life, he thought that if there was someone in his family that would have a baby by accident, besides his dad, it was his older brother. Dick was a dick, thought with his dick, and had given it to half the female population of Gotham. When he told him about it, he could not stop laughing, and Jason did think of punching him in the face. Repeatedly. But it was him that made the fear go away at first. Not by taking him out for a drink, which he still did, but by making him see the good in it.
“It’s a baby!”, he said. “You love babies, and you always wanted one.”
It was a baby, it was sort of your dream, and it was with the girl he had a crush on. It could be worse. Sure, there are a lot of changes of plans that he’d have to take from now on, but the good sides were much greater.
His father wasn’t very happy when he told him, though. But Dick, again, came to the rescue. “Jason is smart. He’s always been the level headed one… when he wants it. He’ll figure things out.” And soon, old man Wayne was on board with the new baby. So on board that he had already planned on rebuilding his suite at Gotham Memorial, just for your delivery. Jason had to tell him to calm down a little, you didn’t even know his dad was a millionaire yet.
You took quite long to return. Sitting back down besides him a good forty minutes later, pulling the sleeves of your dress over your hands to protect them from the cold. He handed you your bag back, and you two sat in silence for almost half an hour till the nurse called your name again. This time, with a “the doctor is waiting” along.
“Nervous?” Jason asked, as you two walked side by side to the doctor’s room.
“I was worse,” you replied, giving him a smile he returned gladly. “It won’t get that bad again. I think.”
Different from the waiting room, the doctor’s office was cream colored and the yellow lights much more comfortable. There were books decorating almost every surface, with toys and teddy bears everywhere too. It gave out a sense of comfort you so desperately wanted to find in your pregnancy. Given how everything, all your feelings, had been thus far, it was great that something could actually give you comfort.
“You must be Vanessa’s friend, right?” Doctor Mikaelson said, extending her hand for you to shake. You only nodded, still not used to going on doctors appointments on your own. What were you even going to say?. “And is this your boyfriend?” she asked, and your eyes immediately popped off their sockets.
“No,” you quickly replied. “He’s not… my boyfriend.”
Thankfully, she did not ask for any further explanation. “You can call me Rebecca from now on. Today we’re going to talk a lot, there’s a lot I want to learn about you, so it’s going to be a long appointment. It’s your first visit, am I right?” she questioned, and you just nodded your answer. “Any medical history I should know about? From you and other family members.”
Pulling her chair closer to the expensive looking computer, she prepared to type in the answers to her inquisitions. “No, no. I’m clean. Healthy. No medical history I can remember in my family either. I mean, my dad does have high blood pressure, but that’s it,” you explained, and looking at the moose sat beside you, you expected his answer. “Jason?”
“Erm…” he struggled. “I’m adopted.”
Surprised, your head angled to the side while your eyes were now glued to him, anticipating the rest of his story.
“Do you know anything about your biological parents?” the doctor asked, but he shook his head, ending the subject you so wanted to hear more about.
The appointment went on like this for a while. Questions were made, by both sides, answers were given. Some more explaining on Rebecca’s behalf, and soon the minutes went by swiftly, without you even noticing. It was now time for the ultrasound, as she explained, and while fishing for the items she’d need to perform the exam, you were left by yourselves for a short while.
Standing up, you awkwardly play with your feet as you wait for the doctor’s return. So far, your head was banging with so much information it had received in not much time, and the exhaustion from the full day was starting to catch up to you. Your mind was getting dizzy, and you mentally begged for it to be over soon and for you to be ready to go to bed. But the next step of your visit, and you couldn’t deny it, had you rather excited.
You found your reflection on a tiny mirror. You looked tired, but you looked pretty for such exhaustion. The extra effort put this morning on your look certainly had an effect, hiding, even if a little, your fatigue. As it had been happening for the past few weeks, your eyes soon spotted your belly, and now the tiny roundness it was making.
Your hands hesitated a couple of times. It was as if doing it would burn them, like it was wrong. But they reached it, touched the skin over the warm fabric. Touched you bump. Your still hidden baby. It didn’t look frightening then. Your hands didn’t burn. You just felt the protuberance in your body, the perfect little curve it made, and thought about, how the hell, it was supposed to keep a baby. It looked small and cute now. Tiny in comparison to the size it would get. Much like some of the women you saw in the waiting room, blowing up at any moment. Bellies round and exuberant.
But yours paled in comparison. At least for now. Your baby wasn’t ready to be announced to the world yet, and you preferred it like this. Kept just for the two of you for now. Your sweet little secret. Your sweet little love.
Jason thought you were stunning. He’d been staring at you, feeling your skin, from the side, and each reaction you got of it amazed him. It was a simple act, a touch you certainly repeat, over and over, until the day your baby finally arrived. But he saw beauty in it, nonetheless. He watched your hesitance vanishing, and your comfort was slowly visible. He too wanted to feel it, touch it, but everything in its given time.
“Will you lay down please.” The doctor returned, and as you pulled your dress to free your stomach, she offered you a blanket to cover yourself with.
Soon, just your tiny bump was out, the lights were off, and Jason stood by your head. Both anxious to hear the sound many boasted about.
“It’s kinda hard to find it,” the doctor said. “It’s still really small.”
Jason’s grip on your shoulder grew tighter as the time passed. He caressed the skin over the material of your dress to compensate for the pressure after whispering an apology to your ear. You didn’t blame him, you too were anxious for it.
“Ha-“ the doctor sang. “Here it is. Look, this tiny thing. This is your baby.”
You didn’t see anything. Just a dot. A tiny little stain on the screen where she pointed at. Yet, it nearly made you cry. There it was. Your baby. In its full tinyness. In its full “hey mommy, you don’t notice but I’m here” energy. You heard sniffing by your ear, and your head snapped to Jason quickly.
What, he mouthed, and you had to hold in your smile. What a crybaby. Cute, noted.
“And here,” she continued, messing with her station, adjusting levels and pressing buttons. “... is its heartbeat.”
The loud beating echoed through the room. Tudum. Tudum. Till your own had gotten faster. It was on for long, being turned off soon after four beats, but it would stick to you for the rest of the day. The little sounds your baby made. The single sign of its existence within you, sounding like music to your ears. Addictive, delicious to hear. Still in your head as you walked back to your apartment with Jason by your side.
You’d walked up there in silence. Comfortable silence. The long waiting hours and the extensive appointment getting the best of both of your energy levels.
“9 weeks,” he suddenly said. “You’re 9 weeks pregnant.” Joining your eyebrows, you looked at him. “That means we fucked a whole night and went by baby free, but one quickie in a random room had us doomed. The seed is strong- Ouch!”
With a single swing of your bag, you aimed for Jason’s head and hit your target precisely. He tried to dodge another move, but was hit by another swing before getting a hold of your weapon. Your laughter echoed through the small area, loud enough you were sure your downstairs neighbor could hear.
“Shut up,” you shoved him with your shoulder. “Is all of this a joke to you?”
“No, but that was funny,” his laughter joined yours.
Your hands struggled to enter the key on its lock, but soon your door was hanging open.
“Do you want to come in? Eat something?” you offered, still a bit skeptical of his prolonged company. He looked dead in your eye, a while that made you slightly uncomfortable. His icy blue stare makes your body shiver. Replying with a toothless smile, he shook his head.
“I better head home.”
“Are you sure?” you insisted. You didn’t know why, but you kind of wanted his company tonight.
“Yeah. I’m sure you’re exhausted. And I want my bed too, so I better head home before it’s too late for me to drive. You don’t want your baby losing its father this soon, do you?” he joked.
“It would be a tragedy,” you joined in on the fun.
Walking slowly to you, he held your cheek to place a chaste kiss to your forehead. Offering another thin-lipped smile, he turned his back to you and headed for the elevator. “Bye.” He waved.
“Bye, Jay.” You returned the gesture. The sudden use of a nickname made his smile larger.
“Ynie.” He gave you a wink, before disappearing behind the metal doors.
“So… How was the appointment this week?” Nessie questioned, eyes scanning the cool toned garments hanging on tons and tons of clothing racks. It was now Saturday, and you two had gone out shopping, something you hadn’t managed to put your head on for months, but that now managed to free it from any thoughts of your current state. Well, until now.
“It went fine,” you simply stated, avoiding commenting any further.
“You don’t sound too excited.” She raised a brow at you.
Averting your gaze, you stopped to look through a rack full of coffee tone wool cardigans. The colorful sets of summer were now long gone, giving place to the browns, grays and blacks of the fall/winter seasons. Thin fabrics like silks and linen being traded for thicker, more weather-appropriate substitutes.
Sighing, you allowed your friend’s words to linger in the air for as long as you could. You didn’t want to reply. There was nothing to reply. She knew pretty well your stance. “What’s there to be excited about?” you asked in return, and she gave you an upset look. “I’m having a baby with a guy I hooked up once. Sorry for not jumping around at the news.”
It was her turn to sigh, as you continued to roam around the store looking for anything cute for you to wear, since your clothes were now too small for your still not too visible but obviously growing bump. It was a struggle finding an outfit to go out today, having to make the most out of your summer dresses in the increasingly chilly days of September.
“I thought you were starting to like the idea,” she commented. Crossing her arms over the rack you were looking through and resting her chin on top of her hands, she forced you to stop avoiding her gaze.
“I was,” you started. “And then I wasn’t. I don’t know. It’s like every hour I have a different opinion on it. But it’s never too happy, or excited about it. And most often than not I regret ever laying eyes on Jason in the first place. I really don’t know what to think,” you swallowed a lump that started to form on your throat, and waited for the burning in your eyes to cease before continuing. “I’m scared, and anxious, and it seems like at every second something could happen to cause a turmoil again and I don’t think I can take another punch to the guts from the universe.”
You took a deep breath. You weren’t going to cry at the mall today. There were no pregnancy hormones, no random mood swings, that would ever allow you to do that in public. Then, the sudden touch of Nessie’s hand on your shoulder helped your breathing ease down.
“Nothing will happen. Don’t overthink it,” she cooed, tugging a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “And you’re having a baby! That’s all you need to be excited about. I know they are little energy suckers, crying loudly monsters, but they’re also so cute and adorable. Like, so cute and adorable you could take a bite out of them. And their giggles, and babbles. C’mon, I remember hearing you talk about your nephew, and how much you loved and missed him. You’re now going to have your own.”
Like a true best friend, Nessie’s words did manage to put a smile on your face. And she was right. You had focused so much on the down sides that you’d completely brushed off all the good ones and how much they could outweigh the others. The mention of your nephew and his baby sister reminded you of how much you’d loved them and how much it hurt to say goodbye to them every time you went back to college.
And you wanted kids. A family. It just happened to be an unfortunate timing.
“C’mon, let’s go.” Before you had the chance to ask where, she was dragging you out of the current store you were at and into another.
The racks of taller, bigger clothes were soon exchanged by tons of baby clothes, shelves of toys and items now in your line of view. The smell of the store was also more pleasing, exhaling the scent of lavender through it’s entire length. Pulling out a tiny baby onesie from a table right at the front of the store, Nessie nearly shoved it in your face before continuing her rant.
“Look at how cute this is. Can’t you imagine your baby in it? It’s so small and scary to think it can fit a human,” she joked, earning your giggle. It really was cute, and the picture of your baby in it made your tummy flutter. “And look at this one!” she nearly screamed, showing you a cute flowery knitted sweater. “I’m pretty sure my mom could make you tons of this. No shade to this store,” she lowered her tone as if anyone would hear. “But it’d be a lot cheaper, and prettier. Did I tell you before she knits?”
One by one, Nessie continued to show you random clothes and toys she kept seeing around and that got her excited. A music toy had you two concentrated on for an embarrassing two minutes before you realized your ages were not appropriate to the toy’s recommendation. You two laughed aloud at the images you both pictured of you and your baby, your future with each and every one of these items in it. Suddenly, the idea didn’t sound bad at all in your mind, and you actually found yourself getting excited about it for the first time.
At some point, even a worker had come to your side and started handing you things your baby would certainly need once it was here, and your brain got clouded with all the new information she had offered you in such a short amount of time. You were going out of the store with empty hands, but a long list of items you had to start sorting out.
A few minutes later and you were on your way out. That was when it caught your eyes. The fluffiest and cutest baby romper. It was golden brown and had bear ears and even a little fluffy tail, just like the ones you’d seen all over your socials from even before this state was an idea of your future.
Heading in its direction slowly, you took it from the rack, feeling the soft fabric in your hands. Your mind instantly being filled with images of your baby wearing it, not any unknown baby. Yours. Maybe by the age it was big enough to be strolling around in it, its cute little steps as you followed it around. Or still tiny so you would have to carry it around like a real teddy bear.
You felt your eyes watering. Your baby in it. Your baby strolling around. The cutest little legs and hands. Yours. Turning around to face your friend, you suddenly found yourself determined. “I’m taking this.”
It wasn’t only the romper you took. You left the store with bags almost full to the brim. In them, you had a cute pumpkin onesie, already in the mood for halloween, plushies and a few toys that had you and your friend entertained, tiny baby gloves and socks, beanies and packages of diapers Nessie had insisted it was never too early to start stocking up on.
“Babies go through those like crazy,” she told you, and then you had a bag full of them in your hands heading back to your apartment. May your credit card deal with the cost of all this later.
It felt good. It sort of felt… right. If you were really going to keep this baby, you’d have to get stuff at some point too. Correct? You weren’t softening to the idea, you were just being precautious.
But Nessie was right. Babies were adorable and you missed the ones in your life. Your nephew, and his little sister you mostly watched grow up through phone screens and instagram posts, were far away from you, living their lives despite your absence. You worked your whole life to get away from your parents power umbrella, and not only you’d not dare to return, but coming back with a baby was perhaps the worst thing you could do.
All the stress and work you’d gone through to get to Gotham couldn’t just be thrown out your window. Not for you, not for your sister. Although it hurt them to see you leave, they were always in full support of your choice. Your manumission.
A family. You told Jason you’d never had one. It wasn’t true. Although to your parents you were mere tokens of their “perfect” job as “parents”, as society people, they were never family. Your sisters were. And even though it was in an odd way, you loved and cared for each other dearly throughout your entire life.
It pained you to see each one of them leave your household, one after the other, for completely different reasons. Until you were all alone. And then you had no family. No one to rely on. No one to care for you in your parents' perpetual absence. Until you managed to leave yourself, even if it took you a lot of compromise and convincing.
Arriving on your floor with your bags in hand, faces stamped with laughter and aching feet, you stopped in your tracks as one single detail was capable of ceasing your happiness.
In front of you stood your door, spread open. The lights inside were on, and the well known sound of a female voice, humming along to a muted tune and moving things around. There were only two people that had your apartment keys, and they never meant anything good when they were around.
Brushing the anxious thoughts aside for a couple of hours had worked for nothing, because the worst of your nightmares had just become a reality.
“Take the bags with you,” you turned to your friend, shoving the bags in your hands onto her chest. “Please.”
“Yn, are you alright?” Nessie asked. Worry eating her up from just one look at your frightened expression.
No, I’m not fucking fine, you wanted to answer, but the words didn’t come out of your mouth. Instead, all you did was lose your breathing pace, getting hectic by the second, and your mind went numb.
“Yn, dear. Is that you?” you heard the ladylike voice of your mother calling from inside. Her steps soon too reached your ear, and her shadow approached the door behind you.
“Please, Nessie,” you begged. “Can you take this to your apartment? I’ll pick it up once they’re gone. They can’t see it, they can’t know I’m preg…”
“Oh. Were you two out shopping?” your mother asked excitedly. In good motherly fashion, or at least that was what she always did, she hurried her way to your side, grabbing the bags and eyeing up their content. Her hawk-like eyes scanned through each item carefully. There was no privacy at the Sn’s household, it wasn’t about to change now.
“Nessie’s cousin is pregnant,” You shoved the bags into your friend’s hands, away from your mother’s prying ones. “We were getting her things, you know, for her baby shower. We might’ve gotten too excited though, wasn’t it Nessie? We got too many things, but they were all so cute we couldn’t just not get them!”
You offered her a fake smile, forcing Nessie to join along. It often surprised you how good you were at lying, how fast you could come up with a good story. But maybe all those years of practice served you some good. It all came down to telling the truth, but not all of it. Always hiding something, always leaving details behind.
“I love baby showers. It still pains me you weren’t there for little Macey’s one, Yn. You said you had finals, or something, and couldn’t come. A shame really, your sister put so much thought into it for you to not be there. If only you’d gone to our local college, you could’ve taken just a few minutes of your day to be supportive of your family.”
“Mom,” you hissed, earning an angry glare in return. “Not here, please. Let’s go inside.”
“Fine,” she accepted, hips swaying as she followed you along. “Won’t your friend want to have some tea with us?”
“No,” you immediately cut her off. “She has things to do. For work.” Throwing your friend an apologetic glance, you closed the door behind you, locking yourself into your own hell for god knows how long.
“What are you doing here?” you inquired once you reached your living room.
“What are those manners?” she replied annoyedly. “Check your tone next time you ask me this, sweetie. It seems like you’re not pleased to have your parents around.”
“I-I’m sorry, you two just caught me by surprise. That’s all,” you excused, stuttering the words that you had managed to get out. “Where’s father?”
“In your room.”
Your heart stopped. What was he doing in your room? Why was he there? Why were you acting like you didn’t know the answers to those questions? All your life, all your parents did was snoop around, trying to find each and every way they could keep a hold of you, of your life, of your likes. Of everything.
You didn’t remember all you had hidden in your bedroom, and what was still hanging around, at an easy reach of his hand. But you couldn’t deal with the risk of him finding something, anything, that might lead them on to your condition.
Rushing through the corridor that led to your bedroom, you stumbled on the larger body of your father as you reached your bedroom door.
“Careful, Yn,” your father told you raspily. “Looking for something?”
His tone carried a note, a warning. He was on to something. Like a shark, he smelled blood in your attitude, preparing to attack at any moment you let something slip.
“Nothing,” you lied. “Just wanted to see you. I missed you.” You embraced your arms around his torso with difficulty, his round belly much bigger than yours and forbidding you from completing the embrace. He pushed you away not one second after you touched him, giving you a frown before heading back to the living space.
You held in your sigh, too scared he might catch on to your relief. Scanning your room quickly, you didn’t find a thing out of place and any clue he was onto something. So, quietly, you return to their presence in the small kitchen.
Their voices were blurry as you washed their dishes on your sink. They’d make themselves feel at home, cooking and eating in your home without waiting for your presence nor caring to leave you something. Your mind was elsewhere. It was in the moment they’d be gone. It was on you all alone again.
“Yn,” your father’s voice thundered through the room, making your head snap back to him in an instant. “Your mother has been talking to you.”
Staring blankly at him, you faltered a reply. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit distracted.”
“Well, get your stuff together. Your mother is talking and you should listen. Here, I’m finished with this plate.”
Keeping yourself from rolling your eyes, you dried your hands and walked in his direction, aiming to get the plate and move as quickly as you could. However, you weren’t counting with your father, who didn’t even dare to look at you to hand you his place, knocked on your bag that was standing right beside him on the table on the floor. Its content spilled on the wooden tiles, revealing keys, hair ties, your wallet and envelopes of paper.
You tried to be fast, you swore you did, but your mother was faster. Grabbing the envelope from the floor, she looked at you worriedly. “Sweetie, have you been to the hospital?”
“No. No, no. I haven’t. Must be someone else’s. Got mixed up in my stuff.”
“But it has your name in it,” she said, already skimming through the pages. You place the plate back on the table, moving to grab it off her hands when her wide eyes disapproving stare told you she had found what you’d feared the most.
“Let me see it,” your father demanded. He took the papers from your mother’s hand with ease, as her strength had already vanished from her body. Her face was pale, and her eyes held a sorrow you’d only seen in her eyes once, and it was not in a good day.
“Daddy, don’t,” you cried, but it was already too late.
The veins in his face pumped up blood like crazy, making his face turn into the deepest shade of red you’d ever seen in someone else’s face. His eyes scanned the words in front of him rapidly, shifting from one side to the other, but always returning to the same spot at the top.
“Grab your things,” he spat out. “Grab your damned fucking things.”
Swallowing dry, his words fell from one ear to the other, not stopping at your brain to be processed in your thoughts. You were reactionless, staring blankly back at him.
“Are you deaf?” he nearly screamed, grabbing your arm with a strength you knew would leave a mark. “Who is it? Who is the father?”
“I-I,” you tried to speak, but any word that came out was stuttered. Your father shook you for an answer, like you do with a snack machine that is not working. “I don’t know.”
“YOU DON’T KNOW?” This time he fully screamed. You felt a tear pool by the corner of your lip, and it was then you realized you’d already started to cry. “You have been whoring yourself around to the point you don’t know who the bastard is?”
“Daddy, I-I…”
You felt your cheek burn. The image of his fingers now printed on your face. “I’m not your father. I did not raise a daughter to be a whore, to have a child out of wedlock after everything I have done to you. You’re an ungrateful bitch if you ask me. Wife, here is the reason why she so desperately wanted to be away from her family. To be whore. To give herself out to men she doesn’t even remember. Your daughter is a slut, and if that is the life she plans on living, then let her be on her own.”
His words hit you harder than his hand did. It pained you from within, tearing your heart apart. You sobbed by now, the tears making your vision blurry. He pushed you down the corridor and into your room.
“Get your things and get away from this house.”
You did as he said. The apartment wasn’t yours, you didn’t pay any of your bills. You spat on the plate you ate from, as they say. You had everything. Even if they tried to send you back, they still gave you everything you owned. And you were reckless enough to throw it all away.
Your hands trembled while you tried to fetch your luggage from the upper shelf of your closet. Your mother soon entered the room, and you hoped that for once she would stay on your side. That for once she’d coddle you, say everything would be okay and she would fix everything. But she didn’t. She didn’t even look at you. Just grabbed your clothes from the closet and the stuff off your drawers and shoved them all into your luggage and a few bags she’d found around.
“I’m so disappointed,” she whispered to herself before looking at you. “So disappointed. We put our trust in you. I should’ve never allowed you out of my sight in the first place.”
“Mom,” you cried out, voice a trembling mess. “Mom, I didn’t…”
“Save it,” she cut you, handing you a backpack. “Just save it.”
You walked out of the room with tears filled eyes, meeting your father by the door, waiting to lead you out. When you approached him, he resumed his grip onto your arm. “Too late for tears now.”
Pulling you towards the elevator, he went in with you. You wanted to it all to be over already, but he wasn’t keen on ending his torture.
“When this freak comes out of you, remember your parents. Remember those who have treated you right just for you to fuck them over. And I wish, oh how I wish it, that this kid treats you just as bad as you did us tonight. Get out of here, I don’t want you one feet close to this building. I don’t care where you go. You managed to find a guy's dick, you’ll figure things out. Leave.”
Throwing you onto the streets, you fell straight to the floor. He spat in front of you, and walked back into the apartment building. He told the doorman something, probably to never let you in ever again. Struggling, you stood up, grabbed your stuff with trembling hands, and walked away.
You didn’t know where to. You just knew you needed to go. As the tears blurred your sight, you walked into the darkness of the night. Aimless, senseless, and you hoped for, painless. But the aching on your heart told you you’d have a long night ahead. Alone, cold, pregnant, and fucked over.
Great. Just fucking great.
.
.
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#jason todd au#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd#jason todd x you#jason todd fluff#jason todd x yn#jason todd x y/n#jason todd imagines#jason todd blurb#jason todd x fem!reader#jason todd x female!reader
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Why Gandhi is a piece of shit and you should hate him.
Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi has been established in our history as a "Mahatma" which means "great soul"
This man is anything but that.
He is EVERYWHERE. He's on our currency, he's revered as a hero who saved India, and we have a mandatory holiday on October 2nd in honor of him.
If you didn't know, now you're going to get to know why he was a horrible human being. Let's begin.
This man managed to fool people Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela (among many others) into thinking he was a good person.
Here is some of the shit he's done:
In 1903, when Gandhi was in South Africa, he wrote that white people there should be "the predominating race." He also said black people "are troublesome, very dirty, and live like animals."
Refused to have sex with his wife for the last 38 years of their marriage. He felt that in order to test his commitment to celibacy, he would have beautiful young women (including his own great niece) lie next to him naked through the night. His wife, whom he described as looking like a "meek cow" was no longer desirable enough to be a solid test.
Believed that Indian women who were raped lost their value as a human.
During Gandhi's time as a dissident in South Africa, he discovered a male youth had been harassing two of his female followers. Gandhi responded by personally cutting the girls' hair off, to ensure the "sinner's eye" was "sterilised". Gandhi boasted of the incident in his writings, pushing the message to all Indians that women should carry responsibility for sexual attacks upon them.
He argued that fathers could be justified in killing daughters who had been sexually assaulted for the sake of family and community honour.
Gandhi also waged a war against contraceptives, labelling Indian women who used them as whores.
He believed menstruation was a "manifestation of the distortion of a woman's soul by her sexuality".
On 6th April 1947, he gave a speech where he said, “ If the Muslims are out there slicing through Hindu masses to wipe out the Hindu race, the Hindus should say nothing and peacefully accept death”.
He hated the great Hindu rulers, especially Shivaji Maharaj. To please the Muslims, he banned the book named ShivBhaavani which correctly depicted Islam’s intolerance and fierce fundamentalism spread by it.
Refused his wife life-saving medication (for religious reasons), but those religious reasons all of a sudden no longer applied to him when he was in a similar position.
Started a fast unto death when Ambedkar asked for separate electorates for Dalits.
Gandhi left his ailing father on his deathbed, to sleep with his wife. The child born out of this copulation died in infancy. According to Gandhi, the death of this infant was the result of this evil karma.
Gandhi, even when he claimed to be the angel of non-violence, made no efforts to prevent the British from deploying Indian troops at various locations during World War II.
Kashmir was invaded by Pakistan in 1947, the brutal Pakistani army committed heinous crimes against Kashmiri Pandits including mass rape and mass killings consequently many Pandits were forced to flee to Delhi and other places. In one incident Pandits took refuge in an abandoned mosque in Delhi. Infuriated, Gandhi threatened to fast to death if the Pandits didn't leave. The Pandits were slaughtered in a communal riot as soon as they abandoned the mosques.
Criticized the Jews for defending themselves against the Holocaust because he insisted that they should have committed public mass suicide in order to "shame" the Germans instead of fighting back. His exact words were, "But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from the cliffs. As it is, they succumbed anyway in their millions."
And this is all from a simple Internet search compiled here. I wonder what else is hiding if I do a deep dive.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
#hinduphobia#hindublr#desiblr#antisemitism#history#india#gandhi#can you guys tell i hate him#indian history#british empire#tw rape#tw assault
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MILESTONES✩༶‧˚
GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. suggestive comments. WORD COUNT: 6.0k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, dadtobe!gojo, pregnant!oc, established couple. a lil' jealous!oc.
SYNOPSIS: a compilation of short stories about the stages of pregnancy with oc gojo girlfriend and satoru. AUTHOR'S NOTE: please make sure to read 'accidents' before milestones. i couldn't have you guys miss out on oc gojo girlfriend and satoru's pregnancy journey. it was so fun to write this. a lot of research went into the baby gojo chronicles, i honestly think my fbi agent thinks i'm pregnant. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!
8 weeks: the first pre-natal appointment
it has been two weeks since you and satoru decided that you were going to keep the baby. this week was your first pre-natal appointment to "meet" baby gojo. you couldn't tell who was more nervous, you or satoru.
during your appointment, satoru sat in the exam room as the nurse drew your blood to perform tests and to confirm the pregnancy. the nurse also performed a pap smear, which freaked satoru out after he saw what a speculum looked like. he said it looked like a 'torture chamber tool' and you wholeheartedly agreed with him.
you exchanged soft smiles with satoru multiple times throughout your appointment. satoru was engrossed with the entire process. his curiousness was adorable in your eyes as he asked your nurse questions about all the procedures and tests she was performing. about an hour later after receiving the results of your blood tests, your doctor entered the room.
“well, first things first, congratulations on your pregnancy (y/n)! your blood test came back positive with hcg.” your doctor began, “now let’s talk about some upcoming lifestyle changes you'll have to make.”
“wait, when do we get to see the baby?” satoru interrupted. you glared at him, dark green eyes telling him ‘shut up, satoru’.
“we’ll perform the ultrasound after this, satoru.” your doctor chimed. “(y/n), i want you to start taking a pre-natal. stop eating raw fish, deli meats, and eat thoroughly cooked meats for now.”
you blinked twice. that meant no sushi for you. your heart sank a little. satoru noticed the disappointment shift in your mood. he felt a little guilty.
"so that's why you had me cook your steak well-done..." satoru whispered to himself. you scoffed at his sudden realization from two weeks ago. (read ‘accidents’ here)
“do you or satoru have any pre-existing medical conditions in either families?”
“no. but he might be pre-diabetic by the time he’s 40.” you snorted.
satoru chuckled and reported back, “there’s nothing on my side of the family to note.”
“that’s great to hear. just be aware of gestational diabetes, (y/n). i know you love your chocolate ice cream so watch your intake.” your doctor typed some notes in your patient profile, “your due date is looking close to october 14th. any other questions?”
“can the baby come earlier?” satoru quickly asked.
your doctor smiled at the both of you, “i wouldn’t necessary call it early, but babies are considered full term at 37 weeks. it would be good for the baby to be born around or after that time.”
“uhm, do you think i’ll be able to give birth vaginally?” you asked next. your sister-in-law had to have c-sections, so that worried you. her recovery was a journey for her and honestly, it scared you. but you were willing to do whatever it takes to make sure baby gojo arrived safely.
“as long as there aren’t any complications, of course. we can plan on that. we'll just have to monitor how your pregnancy is going.” your doctor picked up on yours and satoru’s quiet and awkward social queues, "and yes, you can still have sex while you're pregnant.
"oh, thank god." satoru sighed in relief as you smacked him with the back of your hand. he was so embarrassing.
"please, just ignore him." you looked at your doctor, cheeks cherry red.
she laughed and asked the most important question of the day, “are you guys ready to meet your baby?”
you nodded your head and giggled, “yes. i think satoru’s more excited than i am. he won't shut up about it.”
“i’ve been waiting two weeks for this moment.” satoru said with a sheepish smile, his hand scratching the back of his fresh undercut. his blue eyes peeking through from his sunglasses.
“okay, let’s get started then.” your doctor announced while snapping on her sterile gloves. “we’ll be performing a transabdominal ultrasound today, nothing painful.”
she squeezed a handful of gel to apply to your belly. you jumped in your seat.
“are you okay?” satoru asked, concerned at your sudden movement.
you reassured him, “yeah, the gel is just cold.”
your doctor laughed in amusement and started to rub the wand around your abdomen. you heard a fast thumping noise.
“is that the heartbeat?” you wondered, looking at the black and white screen. satoru smiled from ear-to-ear as he cupped his cheek in his right hand, his left hand squeezing yours. hearing his baby’s heartbeat might take the cake for one of his favorite sounds in the world, next to your laugh.
your doctor reported back, “yup. a healthy 138 bpm. i’m gonna take some pictures now…”
you saw a tiny circle in the middle of the monitor as your doctor clicked away on her computer mouse.
“is that the baby?” satoru asked, squinting at the monitor.
“yes. you see the little image that looks like a bean?” she clicked again, “it’s about half an inch… that’s your baby.”
“it’s so cute. how tiny. a baby bean…” you gushed. you turned to look at satoru. he was itching his eyes.
“satoru gojo, are you crying?” you asked in disbelief.
he quickly defended himself, avoiding all eye contact with you. “no! something just got in my eye.”
he was such a liar. his infinity would never allow anything to touch his precious six eyes.
your doctor laughed at the sweet moment between the two of you. you watched the love of your life stare at the black and white screen in amazement. your heart felt like it was going to burst watching him. you wanted to hold him tightly and never let go.
12 weeks: surprise! we’re pregnant!
it was so hard for you and satoru to keep your pregnancy a secret for the past 6 weeks. the only two people who knew you were pregnant were shoko and megumi.
your doctor had advised you to wait until the end of your first trimester to announce your pregnancy because of the risk of miscarriage. once you made it past the first trimester, you thought about how you were going to tell everyone. of course, you and satoru wanted it to be a surprise. an imaginary lightbulb lit above your head.
“babe, i have an idea.” you said excitedly, grabbing satoru’s arm as he was looking through your office drawers for something sweet to snack on.
“hmmm. what is it, sweetheart?” he asked as he unwrapped a piece of chocolate. you always kept a stash of satoru's favorite chocolates in your desk for him because he loved to hide in your office and avoid his sensei duties.
“you know how we usually take a group picture with the faculty, students, and sister school every year? let's tell principal yaga to schedule it early this year.”
“oh, i like where this is going.” satoru laughed. he read your mind. you high-fived him. he gave you a quick peck on the cheek. couples’ telepathy was really a thing.
*********************************
“and why do we have to be here?” maki complained as she folded her arms. she wanted to train, not take a silly picture.
“come on, maki! it’s tradition to get a picture of all the students and faculty. it’s just that we’re taking the picture earlier than usual this year.” panda said as he patted her back.
“even okkotsu came back from his training to be in the picture. my sister flew in just to be in it too.” megumi said as he watched yuta interact with the students from kyoto. tsumiki was attached to your hip. megumi already knew the real reason why the picture was scheduled so early in the school year and why tsumiki was asked to be in the picture.
“alright! everyone looks great.” yuji cheered as he walked to his assigned spot for the group picture.
principal yaga gathered everyone, “please make your way to the field and get into your assigned spots. satoru will be pressing the button for the camera since he can teleport to his spot quickly.”
you nervously watched as all the students and jujutsu high faculty made their way to their spots, getting ready for the picture.
“okay everyone!” satoru shouted as he prepared himself to teleport next to you and megumi, “i’m pressing the timer!”
satoru appeared by your side as the 10 second timer ticked. satoru sneakily pressed record instead taking of a picture. “everyone say ‘(y/n)-sensei’s pregnant’!”
everyone stopped to look at you and satoru in confusion.
“what?”
“what did he say?”
“huh?!”
“(y/n)-sensei… is pregnant?!”
“wait what?”
“holy shit, (y/n)-sensei is pregnant!”
after a few seconds of questioning, everyone realized what had just happened. you had just announced your pregnancy.
in that moment, you were tackled by tsumiki, megumi, yuji, nobara, and yuta as they cheered around you in a group hug. ijichi, akari, principal yaga, nanami, ino, mei, utahime and shoko were all congratulating satoru. they took turns speaking with the both of you, giving you well wishes on a safe and healthy pregnancy.
“congrats, (y/n)-sensei.” maki said with a soft smile, embarrassed she complained about being here. she wouldn’t have wanted to miss this.
panda added, “yes, congratulations! we’re excited to see you and satoru become parents.”
“salmon, salmon!” toge congratulated you in his own words.
“thanks everyone. if you guys aren’t busy, we’re going to have a celebratory dinner tonight at splendid sushi. satoru’s treat.” you winked.
“hey! i heard that!” satoru shouted at you from across the field as he grinned. both you and satoru were thrilled to see everyone’s excitement on the news of baby gojo.
*********************************
“are you nervous to tell my brother you knocked up his little sister?” you teased satoru. you kissed his cheek as he brushed the loose strands of black hair behind your ear.
“nah, i’m sure he wants nieces and nephews for his kids. plus, it was an accident.” he joked as he drummed his fingers on the restaurant table. you and satoru people-watched through the restaurant window, waiting for touya and his wife. (a/n: yeah, touya is married with 2 kids now. his wife’s name is hana. a non-sorcerer. maybe i'll write a wedding fic.)
you smiled as you saw your brother walk into the restaurant, holding the door open for hana. touya’s black hair and golden-yellow eyes beamed when he saw you satoru.
“satoru! how have you been, bro?!” touya greeted his self-proclaimed brother, pulling him in for a bro hug.
“i can’t believe he hugged satoru first.” you looked at hana in disbelief as she giggled, hugging you instead.
“they really are bestfriends now.” hana realized as she sat across from you.
satoru sat back down in his seat next to you, touya sitting across from him. “glad you guys could have lunch with us. it’s been awhile.”
“we have a gift for you guys! a souvenir from our last trip.” you lied to your brother and sister-in-law. you pushed a card and white box towards them.
“open it. it’s special, made especially for you.” satoru urged, touya and hana taking the card to open first.
“what do you get a brother who already has everything?” touya read out loud. hana curiously reading along with him. satoru placed his hand on your thigh. the both of you were grinning from ear-to-ear watching the two open the box. they pulled out a beige baby onesie.
touya read the text on the onesie, “how about the title uncle and auntie…?”
after putting 2+2 together, touya hid his face with his hands, both him and hana were so happy for you and satoru. your eyes started to water watching them. a tearful laugh came out of you.
“congratulations, you two. my baby sis is having a baby...” touya said as he got up to embrace you.
you hugged him tighter, “thanks, touya…” you softly said. the warmth of your brother's love and support making you extremely emotional. these pregnancy hormones were out. of. control.
18 weeks: an important question
"aren't you curious to what the gender is?" shoko asked you and satoru. you asked shoko to join you two for lunch today because you had an important question to ask the amber-eyed doctor in regards to your unborn child.
you took a bite of your chicken katsu before answering, "of course we are. but we decided not to find out because we want it to be a surprise."
“what do you want it to be? a boy or girl?”
“it doesn’t matter. as long as baby gojo is healthy.” satoru stereotypically said as he stretched his arm to rest over your shoulder. he secretly wanted a girl.
you added, “we raised megumi and tsumiki. we already experienced the best of both worlds. so i’m not picky.”
“i guess i’m just being selfish because i want to know the gender.” shoko laughed as she took a sip of her mimosa.
“oh! shoko, we have a present for you.” you said as you put down your chopsticks. you turned to satoru and he grabbed another white box with a card attached do it, similar to the one you gave touya and hana.
“it better be the gender of your baby.” she laughed as she took the present from satoru.
“it’s something even better.” satoru said with his signature shit-eating grin.
shoko opened the card, reading it out loud, “i need an extra pair of hands to help me learn and grow… i know that yours will be the best because mommy and daddy told me so…?” she looked at the card, confused.
you asked her clearly while trying not to laugh, “shoko, will you be baby gojo’s godmother?”
shoko stared at both you and satoru after she realized what you had just asked of her. she started to chuckle as she got out of her seat to hug you. “of course, i will. hopefully your baby won’t grow up to be a little shit like satoru.” she said as she punched the white-haired sorcerer in the arm, satoru completely letting her bypass his infinity to do so.
“there’s another gift in there.” satoru added, pointing at the giant glass.
shoko picked up the pint glass and read the etching, “you drink too much. you smoke too much. and you cheated on your medical exam. we can’t think of anyone more suitable to be baby gojo’s godmother.”
shoko laughed, “okay, this might have been better than finding out the gender of your baby.”
26 weeks: baby gojo’s first (external) kick
megumi came home this weekend to spend time with you, satoru, and tsumiki. normally, he would be spending his free time exploring japan with nobara and yuji, but since you were pregnant and tsumiki was back for her semester break from her study abroad program, he wanted to spend his free time with his family.
you were in the kitchen with tsumiki making dinner while satoru and megumi sat around the living room with his demon dogs, shiro and kuro. catoru was lounging in their cat scratch post and your spirit birds were out on the patio enjoying the weather. you didn’t realize how zoo-like your home was until now... and that wasn't even including all of megumi's shikigami either.
while chopping vegetables, tsumiki updated you on her high school adventures abroad. ever since she started at e.f. academy, she has been non-stop on-the-go with extracurricular activities. she told you about her latest projects, how the weather was in california, about all the friends she made, and even the boy she had a small crush on. (read 'wherever you are' here)
on the couch, megumi spoke with satoru about his shikigami and how he’s been able to tame a majority of them now. this was the first time in awhile those two haven’t bickered in your presence, and it was a sight to behold.
you rested your hands on your belly as you leaned your back against the kitchen counter, listening to your sweet teenager talk about how cute her crush was. you reminisced about your time in high school, how you thought satoru was a complete asshole when you first met him, and how his good looks and horrible personality made up for it. if your 18 year old self could see you now, she wouldn’t believe the sight. (read 'love at first fight' here)
you felt a little tap against your hands. “huh?” you said out loud, realizing what you just felt on your hands.
“(y/n)? are you okay?” tsumiki asked as she put down the chopping knife. satoru and megumi turned around from the couch, all the attention was on you.
“i think baby gojo just kicked my hand.” you announced. only you were able to feel baby gojo kick internally for the past couple weeks, but now, you thought that satoru and the kids would be able to actually feel the kicks from the outside too.
“hurry, come over here!” you said frantically, hoping baby gojo would kick again. satoru dramatically teleported beside you as megumi hopped over the couch ledge to race over to the kitchen, kuro and shiro following him.
you took all three of their hands and placed it on your belly where you thought baby gojo was. the demon dogs sniffed around you, their tails wagging happily. you pursed your lips, waiting for another kick. you felt kuro and shiro licking your hands.
and there it was. another gentle kick from baby gojo.
“i felt it!” tsumiki cheered as she jumped around the kitchen. her bright smile lighting up the room.
satoru hugged you from behind. you both smiled while watching tsumiki and megumi. megumi looked at his hand, and then back at your stomach.
“did you feel it, megumi?” you asked him with a smile.
“yeah, i did.” he said softly. “that was pretty cool.”
“what about you, daddy?” you grinned as you asked satoru.
megumi gagged at satoru’s new title, “gross. i’m leaving.”
you and satoru watched as your moody teenager made his way back to the couch, tsumiki’s attention back on chopping vegetables. satoru’s arms were still wrapped around you, his face nuzzled in the crook of your neck. baby gojo kicked once more.
“i think baby gojo is saying ‘let go of us so mommy can finish cooking’.” you giggled as you turned around to face the white haired sorcerer. you caressed his cheek with your palm. he snuck two kisses on your neck.
“fine… but i expect some alone time later.” he winked at you before kissing the palm of your hand.
you laughed, “sorry, babe, the kids are home this weekend, plus you get me all to yourself next week when we go to mexico for our baby moon.”
30 weeks: a first time parents' class
"babe, get ready. i signed us up for a class."
"what kind of class? it better not be another ‘how to have sex while pregnant’ class." you rolled your eyes at the ridiculous class that satoru signed you up for at the beginning of your pregnancy. you sighed, your belly weighing you down on your very comfortable white couch that you would probably need satoru's help getting out of.
he grinned at you as he grabbed your purse and your shoes. "a first time parents class."
your doctor recommended that you and satoru waited until your third trimester to take a 'first time parent' class. the class would teach new parents about the different kinds of births, pain management strategies, what to do if and when your water breaks, how to time contractions, postpartum care, caring for the baby, and baby first aid.
“do we have to go?” you asked, “i’m tired.” feigning exhaustion as you put the back of your hand over your eyes and forehead.
“of course we have to go!” satoru exclaimed as he sat down next to you. he was always so excited whenever it came to anything related to baby gojo. he slipped on your white sneakers for you, swiftly tying your shoe laces bunny ear style as you sat up on your elbows. you caught yourself smiling at him. he was so doting. you could definitely get used to this.
satoru studied you. you weren't wearing any makeup today, but you had the radiant "pregnancy glow" that everyone talked about. you wore a beige dress under a white crop t-shirt that hugged your belly tightly. “you look beautiful, so no need to change or do your makeup.”
“you just don’t want to be late.” you laughed. this was the first time that satoru gojo was on time for anything.
*********************************
satoru teleported you both to the hospital in tokyo that you go to for your all your doctor appointments. apparently the hospital was hosting the class he signed up for. there were many pregnant women with their significant others, friends, mothers, and mother-in-laws sitting around the small auditorium.
as you entered the room, you heard gasps and whispers about satoru.
“wow! what a good looking guy!”
“he’s a total hottie!”
“that guy is gonna be a dilf for sure!”
“do you see the cutie with the white hair and blue eyes?!”
“where should we sit?” satoru asked as he held your hand. you looped your free arm around his bicep covetously, staking claim to your man as if your very pregnant belly didn't do so already.
“don’t pretend like you don’t hear all the women in this room talking about you.” you hissed at him as you sat down in a seat closer to the front of the auditorium. because this happened everywhere you went with satoru, normally it wouldn't bug you, but for some reason it did today.
“somebody’s a green eyed monster today.” he sang with a smug smile. it was his favorite analogy to use when you were jealous because your green eyes were so fitting. he sat down next to you, draping his left arm around your shoulder, his right elbow perched on the arm rest. after over a decade of being with you, he was unphased by comments from other women. he ate it all up in high school, but satoru gojo became a changed man once he met you.
“am not.” you said under your breath. you stayed quiet for a moment. “babe, i just think it’s funny how—”
satoru's left ear was saved as your 'i think it's funny how' rant was interrupted by the presenter, “good afternoon! and welcome to the first time parents class!”
even though you were jealous and didn’t like how all the other women in the auditorium were drooling over satoru, you couldn’t stay mad. throughout the years, satoru’s beautiful blue eyes have never strayed and he never made you feel unwanted, even when you argued or when you were being difficult and stubborn. he was never bothered by your jealously. you were the only person he chased after since the day he met you at jujutsu high.
throughout the class, satoru took notes on his phone and asked questions during the q&a. it was hard to stay mad at a man as dedicated and involved as satoru gojo. you decided to just ignore the women in the class, however, that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t cling to satoru when the class ends.
*********************************
“so, what’d you think about the class?” satoru asked as he placed your go-to order of ice cream in front of you. he sat across from you as you glared at his sweet, handsome, smug face.
“it was fine. we learned a lot of information, don’t you think?” you deferred as you scooped a spoonful of ice cream into your mouth.
“yeah, and i learned that you still get jealous til’ this day.” satoru poked fun at you. “remember the first time i took you shopping in shibuya? you were soooo jealous of all the girls talking about me and you weren’t even my girlfriend at the time.” he laughed at the memory. (read ‘love at first fight’ here)
you quipped back, “satoru, everyone knows that you’re the one who’s obsessed with me.”
“true,” he agreed while taking a bite of your ice cream, “but it’s nice to see that side of you every once in awhile. what’s my baby gonna do when she’s not my number one anymore?” he mocked in a playful tone, shooting a bright toothy smile at you.
your emerald green eyes pierced his sapphire blue eyes. “what do you mean by that?”
“baby gojo is gonna be my number one.” satoru said nonchalantly, licking caramel off your spoon.
you took your ice cream away from him. holding the cup closer to you instead of putting it in the middle of the table to share.
satoru chastised you, “that’s not nice, sweetheart.”
“you’re insufferable, babe.” you rolled your eyes at him. “first, you let women drool all over you in front of me, then you tell me that i’m not your number one anymore. what’s next? you don’t love me either?”
“there you go with the theatrics.” satoru sighed, folding his arms. he wouldn't expect anything less from his life partner.
“i learned from the best teacher, i think his name was satoru gojo.” you winked at him.
"it's a good thing i love you." satoru said as he leaned over the table to kiss you on the lips. he tasted just like caramel.
32 weeks: nesting
"this fucking crib is going to be the death of me." satoru muttered under his breath as he struggled putting together the 'smart' crib that he bought. as soon as satoru found out you were pregnant, he spent a whole month researching cribs to decide which one he was going to buy for baby gojo. he decided on the most expensive one, thinking that it would be the best. rich people logic. this crib was called a 'snoo'.
"you didn't have to get such a high tech crib, babe." you said as you sat on the bed folding warm, freshly washed baby clothes and baby bedding for the snoo. you admired how cute and small the onesies were. because you and satoru didn't know the gender of your baby, you bought a lot of neutral colored clothing like beiges, tans, browns, and whites.
"my baby is going to have the best everything." satoru boasted. of course, baby gojo was going to be spoiled. they had you and satoru gojo as their parents.
during the past couple of weeks, you and satoru had bought a handful of important things that new parents would need for a newborn baby such as a crib, stroller, car seat, changing table dresser, and a comfortable lounging chair for your bedroom to put next to baby gojo's crib for the late night feeds.
satoru insisted that everything would be 'nuna' branded. the employee at his favorite department store convinced him after they mentioned that nuna was the "lamborghini of baby strollers and car seats." the matching stroller and car seat system was well over $1,000, you couldn't argue with satoru about how much he was spending because it would be hypocritical of you and your spending habits. so you let him get what he wanted.
after hours of setting up the snoo, putting together the baby stroller, installing the car seat, and building the dresser, satoru sighed, "what a long day." he crawled under the covers to meet you in bed, the back of his hand covering his face in exhaustion.
“it’s a good thing you could just use blue to move the lounge chair from the front door to the bedroom. you probably would've broke your back.” you teased him, knowing satoru gojo doesn’t do manual labor.
“the one easy part about today.” he complained.
while satoru took on his fatherly projects, you were able to deep clean the apartment, put baby clothes and diapers into the newly built dresser, add the clean bedding to the snoo, and re-organize all the drawers in the apartment. you were in the nesting stage of your pregnancy.
you turned to face him, your pregnancy pillow creating a divide between you and the exhausted sorcerer. he flattened your pregnancy pillow with his arm as you took his hand to lace your fingers with.
“you could’ve hired someone to build the snoo and the dresser, satoru.” you said to him, knowing that he normally would’ve.
“yeah, i know, but this is for my baby. i want to make sure everything is perfect.”
your heart melted at the fact that satoru was giving it his all to be involved. deep down, he wanted to be a good father and you could see that. you were proud of him.
"congrats, daddy. you just spent the day nesting with me." you smiled. you knew satoru secretly adored his new title.
the white haired sorcerer laughed, “what the hell is nesting? are we birds?”
“nesting is when couples get their home ready for the baby, satoru.”
“oh yeah? spending hours organizing drawers is nesting? because there’s nothing baby gojo will hate more than the junk drawer we have in the kitchen.” satoru teased.
you kissed the back of your teeth in annoyance, “you have been saying for years that you’d clean out the junk drawer. i found crayons in there from when megumi was in elementary school. he's a high schooler now. it only took me getting knocked up for it to finally be clean.”
you turned your body away from satoru. he moved your pregnancy pillow so he could cling to you (and so that he could be the big spoon).
“i’m just kidding, babe.” he whispered in your ear, kissing the back of your shoulder blade with his soft lips.
“uh huh. go to sleep, satoru.” you replied back to him, attempting to shut your eyes.
“so feisty…” satoru mumbled, still peppering soft kisses along your shoulder blade.
37 weeks: full term
"well... i can give birth at any time now." you said as you read your 'what to expect' app.
satoru placed his free hand on your stomach as he joined you on the white fluffy couch in your living room. you moved satoru's hand to where baby gojo was, using his hand to press firmly into your stomach.
he quickly pulled his hand away from you, afraid that he hurt you and baby gojo, "doesn't that hurt your stomach when you press that hard?" he asked.
"babe, no. give me your hand back. you'll be able to feel baby gojo's feet." you said, reaching for his hand that he reluctantly gave back to you. he leaned over to see what the hard feeling in your stomach was.
"that's baby gojo's feet?" he asked, amazed.
"yeah, baby gojo is literally killing me right now though." you said as you shifted uncomfortably. baby gojo liked to sleep in this position, making you lay on your left side more often.
satoru frowned, he knew you were uncomfortable now more than ever. "i'm sorry, babe."
you squinted at him, "what are you apologizing for?"
"for getting you pregnant."
you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not, so you nuzzled your head on his chest. he pulled you closer to him, "don't apologize for that. apologize if i'm not able to get an epidural or something." you snickered as you looked up at him, "ready to read week 37?"
satoru nodded and kissed the top of your head as you laid against him.
"baby gojo is as big as a canary melon. estimating 19 inches, and 6 pounds. at 37 weeks, you're 9 months pregnant with the end in sight." you read out loud.
satoru took the phone from you to read his part, "at a glance, if baby gojo was born this week, they'd still be early term. baby gojo is practicing for their grand entrance by inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid, blinking, and turning from side to side. baby gojo can grab onto things now. baby gojo is likely to be sucking their thumb a lot these days in preparation for feeding sessions."
"it says babies grow about a pound a week. the average fetus weighs about 6 pounds. and that boys are likely to be heavier than girls." you read, "since it's a little crowded in your uterus now, baby gojo may not be kicking as much. instead, they're probably stretching, rolling and wiggling." you laughed because baby gojo was still kicking strong, sometimes it was painful, stopping you in your tracks in the middle of the day.
satoru blue-eyes widened as he read the next paragraph, "here's an interesting fact. at birth, baby gojo's head, which is still growing, will be about the same circumference as their chest."
"i pray to god that baby gojo doesn't have your big head or my vagina is toast." you joked.
satoru glared at you, shaking his head while chuckling. he went back to read through some of the pregnancy symptoms. he noticed that you experienced a majority of the symptoms on the list: the pelvic pain, leg cramps, pregnancy brain, and insomnia.
because you were of small stature, you started experiencing more pressure on your pelvis as the weeks went by. sometimes satoru would hold up your belly for you with his infinity whenever you were close by, and you were thankful for such a helpful cursed technique.
before bed, satoru would feed you bananas and massage your legs to help with the leg cramps. with your breasts and stomach as big as they've ever been, you finally got your stretch marks. for the majority of your pregnancy you were stretch mark-free, they didn't appear until the third trimester. satoru liked to call them your 'tiger stripes' when he would help you apply stretch mark creams and oils to your body. him helping you apply those creams and oils was a form of intimacy you didn't know you needed during this time. satoru always knew how to make you feel confident again.
your pregnancy brain caused you to be a little forgetful, so the acrylic whiteboard in the kitchen was your bestfriend. you left little reminders on the board for yourself, satoru, and megumi throughout your pregnancy.
lastly, it was hard for you to sleep now that you were in the home stretch of your pregnancy. every sleeping position was uncomfortable, and you had to wake up multiple times a night to use the bathroom. you never got a consistent amount of sleep.
even though being pregnant was uncomfortable, you experienced some of the best memories with satoru this year: your trip to mexico gifted from touya, your surprise pregnancy announcement, asking shoko to be baby gojo’s godmother, and all the special intimate moments with satoru. your unborn baby was already so loved by everyone. you couldn't have asked for a better accidental pregnancy.
you and satoru laid on the couch together all afternoon, enjoying each other's presence in this chaotic life for jujutsu sorcerers. catoru purred and slept next to you two on the chaise, your spirit birds perched on their stands as they watched over the apartment. you dozed in and out of sleep throughout the day as sleep was rare for you lately.
you felt satoru's warm hand on your belly again, you held his hand and lifted your head, emerald greens looking towards him.
"babe, i have a serious question." you said softly.
raising your hand to kiss your knuckles, he asked you curiously, "and what's your serious question?"
"are you ready to be a dilf?" you laughed.
"are you ready to be a milf?" he asked you back, chuckling, "cause you are definitely a milf, babe."
you smiled at satoru as he continued to plant soft kisses on your hand, "yeah, i'm ready to evict baby gojo."
little did you and satoru know, baby gojo would break your water next week to make their dramatic entrance into the world. yours and satoru's lives would be forever altered.
satoru and oc gojo girlfriend go on a baby moon from week 27, read the bonus chapter, ‘baby moon’ here.
or are you ready to meet baby gojo? read the next chapter, ‘hello baby’ here.
© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.
DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG
#jjk x oc#jjk fluff#gojo x oc#gojo satoru x oc#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen fanfic#jujutsu kaisen gojo#satoru gojo#satoru gojo x oc#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru#gojo fanfic#gojo satoru fluff#jjk x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#jjk x you#gojo fluff#gojo imagines#satoru gojo imagines#jjk imagines#satoru gojo fanfic#gojo satoru fanfic#gojo satoru imagines#the baby gojo chronicles
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medical gaslighting chronicles
*goes to doctor for chest pain, shortness of breath, extreme fatigue, dizziness* nurse: "chest pain? ED. why did you come here. ED. your doctor can look at you, but you should have gone to the ED." me: "ummm... well i talked to triage and they said to make appointment with PCP––"
nurse: "i don't care what anyone else says, you should have gone ot the ED, why did you come here?!"
me: "well, also, last time i went to the ED i lost my ability to walk and had vision loss and was sent home because they blamed it on anxiety, despite not doing any kind of anxiety screening."
nurse: "doesn't matter, you should always go to the hospital for chest pain. how has your blood pressure been?" me: "well actually not great, i had really high blood pressure when the chest pain started and i passed out at lunch."
nurse: "how did you take your blood pressure?"
me: "seated"
nurse: "sometimes BP readings can be high if you talked or just sat down or have pain or were anxious."
me: "i was sitting for over an hour and i wasn't talking nor was i anxious."
nurse: "well BP can sometimes be inaccurate, if it ever comes back high you should recheck after 30 minutes, you can also do deep breathing to calm you down."
me: .... nurse: "and also you can be anxious and not realize your anxious. it's possible to have anxiety and feel calm."
me: .... nurse: "but anytime you have chest pain you should definitely go to the ED. your doctor can see you but just know she's gonna send you straight to the ED." *a few minutes pass* *doctor listens to heart* doctor: "well, it doesn't sound ABNORMAL, but it does sound strange... let's do an EKG."
*gets EKG*
doctor: "so your EKG is technically normal, but also not... I had another doc look at it with me and we both agreed it seemed a little strange. let's get you in with cardiology. i won't be sending you to the ED but i'll have you get some labs today." *gets labs* *labs are abnormal and coincide with symptoms* *doesn't hear back from doctor* *several days go by* *EKG results come in* cardiologist: "tachycardia and possible anterior infarct (i.e. heart attack)" doctor: "labs and test results look good"
anyone else have a doctor who orders labs or tests, they come back abnormal AND coincide with symptoms, and days or weeks later they send a message saying "yep labs look good"? cuz same
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ok so here's what we found out from kepler's embark results! buckle up, it's a novel:
to start, i did what i've done for the past 2 embark tests i've sent in, in that when activating the kit i said that my dog was a mixed breed of unknown type, and i opted to not upload a photo beforehand. and like the last 2 times, embark correctly deduced that kep was a purebred collie. so while there's some dna tests out there that definitely suck, i can at least confirm that in my own blind trial, embark got it right 3/3 times. they're great. anyway:
also keeping very in line with being a purebred collie, kep's COI came back at 42% - very high for a typical dog, but dead-on average for a collie. he shares 60% DNA with stellina (despite being on paper second cousins, which should be around 1-2% shared. woe to the collie genepool). he's got a bunch of the same relatives that show up for stellina, which is, again, not surprising. dogs from windcrest, overland, and thistlebrae pop up a lot - if you're familiar with US collie lines, you probably know them.
color traits! kep is confirmed as white-factored, which i was almost certain of based on the pattern of his white markings - you can find more info on it here (referred to as "flashy irish" white) but essentially collies that are white-factored carry the gene for "extreme white" or color-headed white. white is an "incomplete dominant" gene, meaning that one copy affects the dog a little, and two copies affects the dog a lot (remember this term!) two copies of the gene makes the dog almost entirely white (an accepted color in the US, but not the UK/europe i believe), whereas one copy of the gene makes the regular "irish white" markings (the classic white neck ruff and white socks) extend a little further than usual - you'll notice that on kep, his white extends over his shoulders and up to his knees. whereas on stellina (who does not carry the white gene), her white is restricted to her neck, front stockings, and back paws. one of kep's brothers is white, so we knew he likely carried the gene too.
he is confirmed as not a secret merle, though he technically could have been a cryptic/phantom merle - didn't think so, but worth a check.
so all of this is very expected - the health testing is where things get interesting!
embark tests for 265 different genetic health conditions, 4 of which are considered "breed-relevant" for collies: collie eye anomaly (CEA), mdr1 drug sensitivity, degenerative myleopathy (DM), and some immune thing with a long name.
immune thing - clear
DM - clear (not particularly common in collies, but it does show up sometimes and it is a nasty disease)
MDR1 - double copies! this is a recessive gene and kep is mutant/mutant, aka he carries both copies which makes him clinically affected. this is common in collies, as about 60-70% of collies have at least one copy. the good news is this just means we have to avoid/take smaller doses of certain medications and he otherwise shouldn't be impacted by it at all. also his breeder already tested him for this so i already was aware.
CEA - single copy! this is also a recessive gene, which means that kep is not affected/normal-eyed, which is actually pretty uncommon! it's estimated that between 70-85% of collies are affected by CEA (yes, the gene literally called collie eye is common in collies. wow.). i also was already aware of this since he was already tested (worth mentioning that if you buy a collie puppy in the US, a screening by an ophthalmologist to check for CEA is required by the breed club).
and then the plot twist:
embark tells me "oh hey, btw, there's two other genes you should know about"
"your dog has one copy of the gene for accumulating copper toxicosis"
fucking what
so yeah, after a lot of reading into this: there's a gene called ATP7B that's almost exclusively found in labradors, goldens, and dobermans which affects a dog's ability to filter out copper. excessive amounts of copper start to build up in the liver, and if it gets to be too much it can cause liver disease, failure, and neurological problems. remember when we talked about white and white-factored dogs, several thousands words ago? ATP7B is also an incomplete dominant gene - one copy affects the dog a little, two copies affects a lot. kep has one copy, which in theory means he is at no risk, mild risk, or moderate risk of developing copper storage disease in his life. not devastating, but not ideal.
the plot thickens!
kep also tested positive for the gene called ATP7A, which as far as i can tell is like the exact opposite of ATP7B (i know, the names suck). see, ATP7B causes copper to accumulate. but ATP7A has been shown to cause a copper deficiency. it's also incompletely dominant, so one copy impacts a little, and two copies (should) impact a lot - and kep has both copies of ATP7A.
so: kep has one of the "too much copper" genes... but he has also two of the "too few copper" genes. and studies seem to suggest that the two genes have a neutralizing effect on each other if they're both present in one dog - basically, they cancel each other out.
there's a handful of studies looking at the effects of these genes on dogs, but they basically exclusively focus on labradors and dobermans - one UC davis study even suggested that these genes might not even have an effect on other breeds. i could find absolutely no literature about these genes in collies, or even in herding breeds in general. embark helpfully added that they don't have enough data on this gene in other breeds to claim if they had any effect. the genes also appear to be sex-linked, and affect females moreso than males. one study on labradors suggested that although many dogs tested were carriers of ATP7B, few dogs were clinically affected, which would say that perhaps its not uncommon for dogs with only one copy to not be impacted.
(i'm also wondering if perhaps this could be the case for kep - given that he has 2 copies of ATP7A, he had to inherit one from each parent. given that these genes aren't regularly tested for in collies, is it possible that some lines carry them and are just clinically unaffected? it may be entirely incidental.)
so essentially, he does have one gene that may be nothing, or may cause mild-moderate issues as an older adult/senior. he also has two copies of that gene's natural neutralizer, and is male, and comes from clinically unaffected dogs. so... i think in retrospect, it's something to note on his chart and keep an eye on, but the odds seem to be very stacked in the favor of him either not being affected, or having only mild affects later down the line. could be a nothingburger, might be a little-somethingburger, unlikely to be a seriousburger.
that being said: i am VERY glad i decided to do this test! obviously i knew what breed he was, and his breeder had already tested him for the most collie-relevant conditions, so this was done on more of a whim, but it turned up this potentially important result that i now know to investigate. you'll hear a lot about how breeders who just do embark, or pawprints, or etc aren't doing complete genetic testing, because so many of the diseases these tests screen for aren't breed-relevant and lots of other conditions aren't testable. which is true. 265 genes and only 4 are considered for collies! but once in a blue moon, one of those random other genes will indeed flag, as is the case here.
so yeah: very interesting results! breed, COI, relatives, color, and most of the health is exactly as expected. but boy that one little health bit really threw me for a loop.
#long post#VERY long post#if youre in vetmed or sciencey and have more resources about these genes please let me know!#i checked through the handful of studies that show up on basic googling#but id be fascinated if theres anything more in depth or (holy grail) herding/collie specific
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Not Much Else [Pt.1]
Ao3
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6
Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader
Word count: 2,956
Warnings: canon typical violence, swearing, mention of drugs and surgery, (I’m bad at warning tags so just let me know if I need/should to add some)
Tags: Mild Proofreading, reader had bat wings, Bounty Hunting, deviation from TV show, pre!show events(?), (Again I'm bad at tags so let me know)
Summary: You're a vault experiment that makes it to the surface. Quickly you learn the lay of the land and a few years later end up working the same bounty as The Ghoul. You convince him to let you take a long after having a feeling that you just had to follow him. Where will this story lead? Only time (and my motivation) will tell.
A/N: this is cringy as shit so please forgive me. I’m trying to get back into writing and my current hyperfixation is Fallout. I've been a fan for years but a new found love was sparked with the show's release.
Be forewarned that this is going to be incredibly inaccurate to cannon events and really unrealistic honestly. But listen. If Lucy can have her finger zapped back on and working properly anything can happen.
The scientists of your vault had placed nearly 200 hundred people into cryo pods before the bombs had fallen. A few had been scientists, but most were test subjects. Those chosen to be experimented on were chosen from a vast array of different medical histories, genetic makeups, ages, and ethnicities which always resulted in different mutations. Only about one third of the subjects had volunteered, while the majority had been simply manipulated, kidnapped, and or drugged before being shoved into a cryopod.
You had been one of the majority that had been kidnapped. Before the bombs, you had been a star in HollyWood and went on to be in several films which included a western or two. You were still fairly young however, so when the threat of bombs falling had started to rise you had been cornered. A white cloth with chloroform was shoved into your face once you had gotten back to your film trailer after wrapping up the final scene for a movie you were co-starring in. You had only woken up for a brief moment after being kidnapped, which was right before they had shoved you into a pod and began the process to preserve your body for the next century or so.
When the scientist decided it was time to start experimenting, some wouldn’t survive the first round of injections but that never did stop the test. Even after death the bodies would continue to be used to determine different severities of treatments on human tissue.
However, those that didn’t have the fortune of passing within the first few rounds of chems being forced into their veins, they had far worse ahead of them. Which just so happened to be the group of unfortunate folks you wound up being.
It had been about 175 years after the bombs dropped before they dethawed you from your cryosleep and started on their process of testing and modifying your body. They had hoped, just like with all of their other experiments they had running, that you would be one of their best.
After the first initial round of chems they had started to cut into you and spliced your DNA with multiple different creatures. First it started with the removal and rewiring of your eyes. They had been replaced with those of a feline which had taken you months to recover from, but that didn’t stop the minor test they continued to perform.
The rewiring in your brain caused excruciating headaches for the first few months but soon you were able to view things from a new lens. Being able to see more than most at night was a great perk to have when the vaults tended to stay poorly lit. However this also caused you to have some sensitivities to bright lights, so in response to that the scientist designed specialized goggles to combat it but made them so they wouldn’t impair your ability to see at night with them still being on.
The next body modification came when a scorchbeast, a large mutated bat creature, had been killed and dragged into the vault. After careful consideration and candidate evaluation you had been chosen to be subjugated to the experiment. No one knew if your body would reject the new muscle and bones that had to be implanted, but your genes had the most likely success rate when looking at the data provided.
After a full year of recovery you had full mobility of the limbs, and with it having been a young scorchbeast, the wings hadn’t been to terribly large in comparison to your body. You had been due for more body installments but before the scientist had the opportunity to stick another knife in you all hell had broken loose.
One of the more aggressive test subjects had escaped from their enclosure and started wreaking havoc upon the vault. They had managed to set other people free while in a blind rage when they had broken into the control room. In doing so not only where you set free but so where all the others, including those in cryosleep.
However you hadn’t stuck around for long once everyone, mutated or not, had started attacking one another in a panic. Having seen map layouts of the vault in the halls on the way to your surgeries, you had been one of the first to make it to the surface and begin your trick through the waste land.
After a week you had managed to find your way to a town which was both a blessing and a curse. Outside the walls of the town there had been a dead man who still had his clothes on. Having realized you were still in your medical gown, you had stripped him of the garments, minus the underwear, and cut a large hole in the back of the shirt to accommodate for your wings. With pants and a shirt on you were now a little more confident when entering the settlement.
Even after getting more than a hospital gown on, people still had given you strange looks as you walked the streets. They snarled and ogled at the wings sprouting from your back, and even after tucking them under your arms while pulling them close to your sides, it didn’t stop the stairs. Your goggles had remained pulled over your eyes during the majority of your time on the surface, but you could tell people could still see the slits that were your pupils.
You had quickly learned the ways of the waste land. Caps controlled everything, violence was always the answer, and it was kill or be killed. So when a man suddenly cornered you in the alley way of that first town you were in, you quickly became a killer. Whether it was the animal genetics fused with your own or your will to survive, you had proceeded to rip that man's neck out with your teeth when he had gotten close enough.
In doing so you had gained a handful of caps, a slightly rusted knife, and a pistol that had enough ammo to mow down a small horde of ghouls. The only item of clothing you peeled from his body was a weathered trench coat made of leather. That had managed to cover your wings if you kept them tucked close enough, although a bet awkwardly.
With the handful of caps you had gathered you had managed to get some accentals and learned about bounty hunting. If you were going to survive in the world you had to adapt, and so you did.
Two years had passed since you first began living on the surface when you had encountered The Ghoul, face to face, for the first time. Both of you had been working the same job when the target in question got smart and hired a few armed guards. The two of you were knocked unconscious and tied up in a rotting building while the target and his goons ran off. You had come to when the splitting pain from being knocked out finally became too much for your body to suppress.
As you peeled your eyes open, you started to realize someone was tied to your back as you and the other person sat on the sand covered floor of the decaying house. Shuffling a bet you tried to grab the knife at your side but soon heard a groan from the person you were tied to. You hadn’t bothered before to try and see who it was, hoping to have gotten untied from one another before they had the chance to wake up and possibly kill you.
“Fucking hell.” You heard the man mumble as he tried to get his bearings as you had. Your heart made its way to your throat as you realized who it was. Although you had never met the man you recognized his voice from the rare occasion you had been in the same town together at the same time.
Fuck fuck fuck! You thought as you continued, more hastily this time, to try and get the knife at your side. You had never paid The Ghoul much attention, however you know of his reputation and that he was a gifted gun slinger. However, while you hadn't paid him much attention, he had been studying you. He had started to recognize you any time you just happened to be in the same town. It wasn't anything more than the fact you were exceedingly odd and always looked out of place from those shuffling around you. Although he was a ghoul and the farthest thing from normal looking, your wings would always take any and all attention from those around you. No matter how well hidden you tried to keep them.
“Stop fidgeting damn it.” Your body immediately froze as he spoke directly to you. A few shuffles of his own and he quickly had his hands on his own knife which sliced through the rope with relative ease. You fell forward slightly as the tension from the rope was released and you quickly stood to dust yourself off.
Turning around you saw The Ghoul doing the same thing as he stood. His duster was ripped to shreds but still served its purpose of covering him from the sun. The cowboy hat he held in his hands was quickly placed back on his head before he turned to glare at you. His spurs jingled a little as he faced you.
Everything in your body screamed at you to run before he could pull out his weapon, but his gaze had you pinned to your spot in the room. You swallowed hard before trying to move and look more relaxed then you really were. Crossing your arms you moved your eyes to meet his which started an immediate feeling of regret.
There was something about his eyes that held a feeling of familiarity but it was buried under the many years of being forced to live amongst the harsh conditions of the wasteland. The Ghoul’s eyes remained on your face for the longest time before traveling to the tips of your wings that peeked out from under your coat. You quickly tried to tuck them closer to hide them but that just led to him looking back to your face.
“Now how the hell you get those on your back?” The Ghoul pointed to where the wings had been showing just moments before. His question had brought you out of your frozen state as you tried justifying to yourself answering him truthfully. You didn’t figure it would hurt to be truthful, especially since it was only the two of you at that moment. Not to mention the odd feeling that you could rely on him to keep any information you needed to get off your chest.
“Vault experiments.” You answered plainly as you moved the extra appendages from under your coat and spread them a little farther out from your body as you stretched them. As you did this something shifted in his expression, almost a kin to pity. He looked back into your eyes as if trying to recognize you as you had done the same to him moments before. You had forgotten the fact your eyes were no longer human so whatever search he was on would be nearly impossible if he intended to find answers within them. Not to mention the fact that your goggles were currently tented from the light coming in from the setting sun.
“That’s unfortunate. Seems like those wings would be in the way of everything.” He stated while picking up some of his belongings that hadn’t been taken. You crossed your arms and leaned on one leg. Sure, the wings were annoying at first, but they had become useful as time went on. You always managed to travel farther than anyone else in the wasteland could in two days on foot.
“They’re actually quite helpful.” You stated as you began to check yourself for any belongings that might be missing. “People don’t expect an aerial assault nowadays. So ambushing people is quite the luxury when being a bounty hunter.” The Ghoul gave a low hum as he slung his bag back over his shoulder. Surprisingly enough they hadn’t stolen anything, but you assumed it was because they were more focused on getting out of there before the two of you woke up.
“Well sweetheart I must be on my way. That bounty is still out there and I don't need someone else getting my caps.” As he said this The Ghoul slung his leg over the wall of the decrepit house and began his trek to the target. Something in the back of your mind pricked at your thoughts as he walked away. The feeling that you needed to follow him into the wasteland grew stronger the farther he walked.
What was it about this guy that had you wanted to do nothing more than follow him like a lost puppy? You hadn’t meant to be working the same bounty but somehow it felt like it was meant to be. Kicking yourself mentally, you sprinted after him. He had only managed to get a few yards away before you abruptly sprinted up behind him.
Out of instinct The Ghoul pulled his gun on you and had it aimed directly at your head. Your chest was rising and falling rapidly as you tried to catch your breath from the short unexpected run you just had. The adrenaline pumping through your veins prevented you from freezing or seeing the gun held to your face as much of a threat at that moment. All your mind was trained on was convincing The Ghoul to take you with him on this job.
“Take me with you.” Was all you could blurt out. Your voice had been shaky which you hoped wouldn’t be too noticeable but The Ghoul definitely caught it. He lowered his gun to keep it aimed at your chest instead.
“Now why should I do that?” He asked as he raised a nonexistent eyebrow. The sun was getting low which caused a shadow to shroud most of The Ghoul’s face. A knot began to form in your stomach. You hadn’t thought this through at all but had to come up with an excuse fast.
“I can be of help. Like I stated before, aerial assault isn’t something most folks are prepared to fight against.” That was practically the only key advantage you had on most other people. You had other talents, sure, but that was back up information in case the main appeal didn’t go through.
The Ghoul lifted his gun to tip his hat out of his face to get direct eye contact with you. His gaze fell and rose as he examined your form. It made you partly embarrassed as you pulled your wings in closer. He stood there and contemplated for a while until you broke the silence.
You grabbed the goggles from your face and sat them on top of your head. Your vision quickly adjusted to the new light exposed to your eyes. As The Ghoul looked back to your face you saw a bet of shock appear on his face before it was quickly masked again.
“Listen,” You started as your hands quickly began to fidget with one another. “I don't know why but I feel as if I’m supposed to go with you. If I had an explanation of why I would tell you but I don’t except for saying it’s a gut feeling.” The Ghoul’s expression stayed the same which quickly diminished your hope of joining him. Your eyes fell to the ground as you continued to speak.
“I don’t require caps or any sort of compensation for joining since I’m doing this out of complete and utter selflessness.” You were about to continue rambling before The Ghoul let out an exasperated sigh. Your attention brought back to his form. The Ghoul was pinching between his eyebrows as he holstered his gun. A few mumbles left his lips before his gaze finally settled back upon you.
“If you slow me down-” He started to say. You quickly cut him off as the realization that he was actually taking you along settled in.
“I won’t! I promise.” You said cheerfully as your wings slightly lifted from your sides. Your demeanor was probably a bit too cheerful though with how his expression changed.
“We’ll see if you keep that promise.” The Ghoul grumbled as he looked at the setting sun. It had nearly disappeared over the horizon which had put the world in a deep shade of purplish pink. It wouldn't be long before the sun was completely gone to leave the two of you in complete darkness.
However, that didn’t stop the two of you from traveling a bet that night. Your night vision was impeccable and The Ghoul had a lamp to guide his way. You stayed silent as did The Ghoul which hadn’t surprised you much. It had been about four hours of traveling before he finally spoke to inform you that it was time to siddle for the night.
#the ghoul#the ghoul x reader#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard#x female reader#f!reader#fanfic#x reader#x reader fanfiction#fallout#fallout fanfic#fallout franchise#writers on tumblr#female writers
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Willington Palace | Sage, SimDonia
Friendly chatter
Diana: Hello everyone. Thanks for joining me here today. I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here...
Spencer: I hope it's not because we're all in trouble!
The group laughs
Diana laughs dryly: Well, not exactly. But there is a serious matter that I need to speak with you all about.
Silence
Diana: As you know, there have been quite a few changes taking place within the monarchy. New rules, new procedures and such. One of those changes included regular visits with a monarch physician. While we were ensuring that all family members were healthy and receiving the best care, there was another reason why everyone was required to do this.
Diana: You see, we've known for quite some time that there is something affecting this family - an illness. Previously, we've only focused on monarchs and heirs and how they were affected. But this approach proved ineffective. So, we began testing other members of the family to get better results. You're all here because the testing we've done shows that you or your children or spouses are affected.
Surprised and concerned murmer
Lydia clears throat: Let Her Majesty continue!
Diana: I know that this is concerning, but there is good news. The testing has not only helped us discover who is affected and why. But we've also discovered a short-term treatment. The goal, of course, is to find a cure, but this is a step in the right direction.
Ian: May we speak, Your Majesty?
Diana: Of course.
Ian: What exactly is the illness and what is the cause you discovered?
Diana: The illness is actually a genetic defect passed down from King William ll likely due to his time as a locksmith before the war. What happens is certain cells in your body are attacked especially when under chronic stress. That is why so many monarchs were tested and treated most as the stress of the job often triggered the illness causing other issues. My father included.
Sarah: Is this the illness that killed King Parker?
Diana: ...Yes. It has caused a lot of harm to this mainly to monarchs and heirs. My father, brother and I included.
Spencer: This has caused a great deal of harm to our family. It is the reason Elizabeth and I were never able to produce an heir. My brother the late King William lll was also affected. Abdicating early was likely the only thing that prolonged his life even for the short time it did.
Emmitt: My grandfather... What about my father?
Spencer: As far as I know, he was not affected, but there is no way to know for sure as he was never tested since he wasn't a monarch or heir.
Bria annoyed: Okay, let me get this straight. There is some secret family illness that has been literally killing people, you guys have known about it, started testing on us and our kids without our knowledge, and know you have some major treatment that we know nothing about, and we're just supposed to trust this?
Diana: I understand how this sounds, but this is something that could not have been widely known. Especially when we didn't have all the information.
Lydia: And Your Royal Highness, it's 'Your Majesty' when you address the Queen!
Diana: Lydia, it's alright. Bria, please understand that the last thing I've wanted to do is keep this from all of you. But if this got out, it would reflect negatively on the royal family.
Bria: No, Diana. I don't think you understand. You're telling me that you have withheld medical information from me about my children. As a mother, I'm sure you can understand how that crosses a line!
Diana: Bria, your children are a part of this family, this monarchy. That information was only withheld due to the damage it could cause the entire family including them.
Bria angry: I don't care about this monarchy! This institution is clearly why my kids and husband could be sick!
Spencer: Okay, I think we all just need to take a breather. Everyone in this room is affected here. Bria, you have to know that it was not up to Diana to keep this secret. Even she didn't know until recently. Previously only monarchs held this information and that's only if they were affected.
Bria: Ugh, this whole place is insane! Don't you see how crazy that is? You people care more about the monarchy than the people in it!
Diana: That's not true, Bria. I care...
Bria: No, it is true, Diana. I know very well. You care only when it serves you. That's how this whole monarchy game serves works. And I've played it long enough! I will not let me kids be victim to this machine.
Diana: Bria, what are you saying?
Bria: I expect all my family's medical records to be sealed and sent to us personally. We will be finding our own outside medical care. And as far as I'm concerned, my kids are done with whatever this is. Emmitt, Ella, let's go.
#simdonia#chap 13#so that went well#team diana#or team bria#love pitting my favs against each other#def not torture for them or me lol#sims of color#sims 4 story#sims 4 gameplay#ts4#royal sims#royal simblr#sim: diana#sim: gerhard#sim: lydia#sim: bria#sim: emmitt#sim: ella#sim: ian#sim: sarah#sim: elizabeth#sim: spencer#sim: elena#sim: beckett
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If y'all who actually care about my obsessive doberman posting ever wonder why I'm cagey about who I recommend nowadays, and why I don't name people who are "known greats" in the breed, consider:
Person C has a dobe produced by Person A and Person B. B and C are good friends. B has made some highly questionable breeding decisions including using dogs with known cardiac health problems and covering up thyroid problems by representing the dogs as "thyroid normal" but not including the detail that they're only normal while actively on thyroid medication.
Person C posts that their dog from this pairing is severely low thyroid at a fairly young age, and that they've decided not to breed their dog as a result. Person A publicly lamblasts C, calls it not that big of a deal, and swings by C's house to collect semen anyway. C deletes previous post, reports the photo, and the new caption makes no mention of thyroid disease but instead talks about how the dog passed all the other health certs with no issue, implying that the dog is perfectly healthy.
Consider:
Person Z has two dogs they have titled to impressively high levels in protection sport. Just before breeding, Z gets very bad results from heart testing on both dogs. One dog definitely has DCM, the #1 breed killer that takes over 50% of dobes from us by way of sudden death with no other symptoms, ie the dogs just collapse and die one day or die in their sleep with no other warning (unless you're doing rigorous heart testing). The other dog has concerning results indicating that DCM is on the horizon but not yet diagnosable.
Z puts both dogs on heart meds designed to combat DCM. The dogs' next test results return to normal. Z uses this normal result to say the dogs have healthy hearts and breeds the dogs anyway. Z has made no mention to the buyers of this litter that the parents both effectively have DCM, albeit well controlled with medication thus far.
If I did not have all 4 of these people on Facebook I would not know this about them. If someone were to friend them currently right now, they would not find evidence of this, because the posts with evidence have been deleted. There is no way to know this about them without knowing in advance.
When I say that the people I personally would get a dog from is a very small, exclusive club nowadays, I don't mean just because I'm particular about temperament, though that is certainly part of it. It's because I've watched this behavior from a LOT of otherwise popular, well-respected, well-liked breeders and I know if I named names their fan bases would crucify me, but I've also seen the wrongdoing with my own eyes or even in person.
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Not good at saying goodbyes.
part 4/4 - previous.
Lena Oberdorf x reader.
Lena Oberdorf Masterlist
──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──
The match day came around. You were glad to be in the starting line-up. Last few days had been a little less insufferable as you tried going back to your routine.
You had been playing great. But not enough to make sure the team scored. As everyone started feeling a little desperate over time running out, you all gathered in the goal area, after managing a corner kick. As the referee gave the go ahead, you all jumped, trying to score a header.
You didn't know if you had miscalculated your actions or if someone else was at fault for it, but your head had hardly collided with another player's.
You instantly fell to the ground. You tried to say something, but your vision had quickly blurred turning black, and there was an awful ringing in your ears.
You had fallen unconscious.
"Y/N! Can you hear me?" Georgia tried to keep as calm as possible, like a captain should.
"Get out of my fucking way! Y/N? Are you okay? Y/N!" no one had ever seen Lena like this. Not in Wolfsburg, not at the national team.
She pushed everyone in her way to kneel right next to you.
"Y/N! Call the medics, the damn medics! Why are they not here yet?"
"Obi calm down! They're here." Lea said while holding her best friend back as you were being put on the stretcher.
"Hey, I'm here! I'm here, I love you...okay?"
she wiggled out of Lea's grip, as she walked, holding your hand as they carried you out of the field.
"Lena!" - they pulled her in a hug, as a small tear ran down her cheek. "You need to concentrate, we only have 25 minutes left. I need you here."
No words came out of her. All she could do was nod.
Twenty-five minutes had never seemed so long. She rant to the locker room to get showered and changed, so she could follow you, wherever you were.
"Do you know where they've taken her?" she asked Giulia. She would definitely know.
"Yes. Everyone is going back to the hotel. We can uber there."
──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──
"I'm so sorry. I was so stupid. When I saw you laying unconscious, I was so desperate, I couldn't lose you again." she said sitting on a chair next to you. You were laying down, eyes closed. "I has devastated when you left. I celebrated your birthday every year, made my mom make a cake and all. Until about 14, then it started feeling terrible. So I stopped. I insisted on setting up your stocking for christmas and-"
"You still haven't watched the Hannah Montana movie. I know." you whispered out as best as you could.
"Your awake!"
"Have been since before you got here."
"You were pretending?"
"No, I was napping, they gave me some meds for the headache. They're only waiting for the scan and test results to come back, so they can discharge me. Just a mild concussion."
"Did you just say 'just'? You blacked out! It could have been so much worse!"
"But it wasn't! Do I have a bruise?"
"No. I mean yes. Don't panic."
"Lena-"
"It's Obi."
"Obi, I'm sorry about everything. I was such a foolish child. I've regretted that every single day since then. You won't lose me this time."
"I know. And I'm sorry for the way I have been acting. I've missed you so much. You have no idea. So much has happened."
"I tried my best to keep up with everything. So, national team's best young player huh?"
"And you! Playing for the best team in the world! Also you clearly play like a spaniard."
"I can't tell if that's a good thing or not."
"It's both. At least you remember the same plays we used to do."
"Excuse me?" the doctor said as he walked in. "Your results are back. You're good. I'll discharge you, but you'll have to take it easy. Not playing or training for two days, just for caution. Also don't recommend you drive. I'll prescribe you medication for the headache you'll definitely have and you have to come in again tomorrow afternoon, for a check. So I can clear you, definitively."
"Okay then, thank you."
"No problem, see you tomorrow."
You both left the room to meet with Giulia in the waiting area.
"Ah good to see you two getting along."
"Thank you for coming too."
"No problem, do you remember anything?"
"Not really anything after hitting my head, until I woke up here."
"You should have seen Lena! 'Please don't leave, I love you!'. No one believed their eyes."
"Awn said you loved me?"
"No I didn't, Giulia shut it!"
"She did! She held your hand all the way out of the field. Even cried a little."
"That's cute. Thank you for being there." you said looking deep into her eyes. As she gave you a reassuring nod.
"Who won the game after all?"
"Not us. But it's fine, we're still winning the championship."
"I can't believe I won't be able to fly back with the team."
"I'll stay over too. Tomorrow is day off anyways." said Obi.
"Well were arrived at the hotel." said Giulia grabbing our attention.
Your bestfriend made sure to walk you to your room. But before she could walk away, you stopped her.
"Do you want to have a sleepover?"
──✩₊⁺⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧──
Thank you for this great request! Hope you enjoyed. Sorry for taking so long on the last part 🩷
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Domestic Life HCs
Suguru Getou x Fem!Reader
CW: Mentions of periods, affectionate Sug', kisses, piv sex, marking, light choking, use of pet names like "good girl," oral (f receiving), orgasm denial, cum, hair pulling, slight size kink, praise, creampie, Sug' is the king of aftercare istg
A/N: Mina bby, I hope these are sufficient!<3 I wanna sit on his face
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SFW
❀ He loves to be in the same room as you. You could be cooking in the kitchen, and he’s leaning against the counter waiting for you to let him taste test whatever it is you’re making as you guys chat away - though tbh he’d be the one cooking dinner. Or breakfast ;3
❀ Hugs are mandatory for him. Even if it’s first thing in the morning and you’re standing on your porch with a hot cup of coffee/tea in your hands, he’s coming up behind you and carefully wrapping his big arms around your waist, inhaling the lingering scent of your shampoo and committing it to memory (he really loves when you’re not fully awake, just a silent bliss as you both take in the sunrise)
❀ He can be a distraction. Not to the extent as a certain someone, but a distraction nonetheless. It’s cleaning day, you’re dusting the ceiling fan with music playing from the tv when he’s suddenly taking you by the hands and twirling you around the living room and singing along to whatever song started playing from the shuffle. He’ll plant playful kisses all over your face as he pulls you close to him. He walks away like he didn’t just do that (“Dammit, Sug’ I’m trying to clean!” but he just smirks at you and continues cleaning in the kitchen)
❀ He LOVES cuddling with you. He usually makes you initiate since he likes to tease you. (“Aw, ya wanna cuddle, baby? Why didn’t you just say so?”)
❀ If you’re sick, not feeling great, on your period, or whatever, prepare to be coddled. He loves you so much and he wants you to feel better! Feverish? He has a cool, damp towel for your forehead and will bring you whatever medications you need (with a glass of water!) Not doing great today? Don’t worry, y/n, he’ll make sure to get your fave snack, and your fave comfort movie queued up and ready to go. Period stuff? He’ll rub your tummy, your boobies, or your forehead if you need! (Chocolates and your go-to product will be waiting for you, too)
❀ Man loves sketching. Idk I just love the hc of him being some kind of artist. HOWEVER, don’t try to romanticize this shit bc he’s definitely a fan of horror media. He’ll draw a picture of you if you’d like, but you might not like the result. If you want something cute or nice, you may have to request it specifically. Occasionally he might draw something with you as his muse that’s actually really lovely, but usually it’s when he’s feeling a little down and looking for inspiration (“You just looked so pretty today, baby~”)
❀ I hc him to be a gift giver and an acts of service type of guy. He’ll gift you little treats or small trinkets that remind him of you, especially if you two get into an argument and he feels bad about it. He’ll rub your back, your feet, wherever you need his hands, you got it
❀ Sug’ takes really good care of his hair. His hair care routine is I M P E C C A B L E. Hair masks (the fancy ones or even diy) are applied weekly and oils (usually argan or tea tree) are used nightly. He also uses a heat protectant on the warmer days of the year. He swears by his silk scrunchie that you keep forgetting to return (he ended up buying a new one), and adores his silk pillow case. He’s very insistent on you doing his routine with him, or even for him when he’s feeling lazy. He just loves when your fingers massage his scalp and when you gingerly comb through his pretty locks. He feels so relaxed when you spend this time with him.
❀ On the weekends or on days neither of you are working, you both like to laze around in bed for the morning. He loves being lazy with you but he also needs his exercise so he may go for a run or do a quick body weight work out while you’re laying in bed. If you’re not up by the time he’s finished, he’ll come wake you up with a plate of your favourite breakfast and a hot cup of coffee/tea, and leave soft little kisses all over your face until you wake up
❀ Man is so sexy and he knows it. Will wash your car for you and smirk every time he catches your eyes trailing his shirtless torso
❀ Enjoys singing in the shower or humming while he’s doing chores. #FACT and he has a lovely singing voice
❀ Loves to read while sitting on the balcony. If it’s too cold outside then he’ll sit near a window. But his favourite spot to read is laying on the couch with his head on your lap
❀ If you’re tired, he’ll lay next to you and softly trace your facial features until you fall asleep. Loves staring at your face
NSFW
❀ Back to his hands, he’ll rub other places for you too. If you’ve had a stressful day, he’s carrying you to whatever comfortable surface is closest (the couch, the bed, that comfortable rug in your room?) and set you down on his lap, your back pressed against his chest. He’ll nibble your earlobes while whispering praises lowly, one hand groping your breasts, the other traveling further south
❀ While it’s not his go-to, lazy sex is his favourite. He doesn’t care how you’re positioned as long as you’re both laying down, but missionary seems to be what happens the most. The intimacy and closeness really gets him. He moves slow, hitting those sweet spots nice and deep, holding you close. He likes to tell you how much he loves you right before he cums
❀ Pleasure-dom for sure. He gets off on going down on you, humping the bed while his tongue explores your folds. He groans so lowly that you almost come undone right then
❀ He loooooves going down on you, but don’t expect to finish any time soon. He can be really mean, denying your orgasm a few times, praises falling from his lips too (“Look at you, so pretty for me. You really wanna cum don’t you? Be a good girl and ask for what you need, baby~”)
❀ Absolutely loves your pussy. Will absent-mindedly rub your clit while you two are watching a movie. Or while you’re reading a book. He’ll even stand behind you while you’re washing your face. Doesn’t matter where you are, he’ll find a way
❀ Shower sex. I mean… Have you seen him??? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t
❀ He likes wrapping his big hand around your throat. You? Trust him?? Gets off on that fact alone. Plus his hand looks SO BIG wrapped around your pretty neck
❀ Loves to shove his fingers in your mouth. Your mouth is so warm and wet and inviting. The way your plush lips wrap around his thick digits and your tongue swirls around the pads of his fingers while his eyes hold your gaze. You get to watch how blown out his pupils get as the tent in his pants grows bigger
❀ When he’s about to cum, he bites down on your neck or your shoulder with a deep groan rumbling from his chest
❀ Loves marking you. Bite marks, hickeys, bruises in the shape of his fingers on your hips
❀ Cumming inside of you is his favourite place to release. He just loves filling up his sweet baby, and seeing it leaking out around his cock gets him hard again
❀ Pull his hair
❀ Pull it
❀And lightly scratch his scalp. While he loves this for self-care days, it makes him groan like a desperate bitch if you do it while making out
❀ Ooh and if you scratch his scalp and pull his hair while he’s inside of you? Oooooohhhhhh boy, you’ve never heard a prettier moan come out of his mouth before
❀ Suguru is the king of aftercare
❀ He’ll lay on top of you for a few moments while you catch your breaths before getting a wet rag from the bathroom to clean you up. If it was an exceptionally messy session then he’ll carry you to the shower and give you a gentle wash. He’ll wash your hair if it needs to be washed, and he’ll gently rub soap over your skin. If it was a tiring session then he’ll lay behind you in the bathtub to clean you up
❀ Once you’re both cleaned up and in pjs, he’ll get you some water. If you fall asleep before he gets back, he’ll try to gently wake you up and make you hydrate, but if you don’t wake up then he’ll set the glass of water on the nightstand for you
❀ He cuddles you pretty tight. Even if it wasn’t especially rough this time. He’ll leave some kisses on your skin along with sweet praises and an “I love you” or two. He just wants you to know that he loves and cares about you
Tags: @a-contemplation-upon-flowers @nanamis-wifey-reye @enchantedforest-network
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I do not own these characters. All rights to the original creators. All content—created rights are reserved to Wallabypirate©2023.
#have I died on gone to heaven#lemme sit on his face#and suffocate him with my thighs#it's a win-win scenario tbf#wallabypirate#wallaby - scribbles#enchantedforestnetwork#banner by benkeibear#divider by saradika#domestic#mdni#geto suguru#jjk suguru#suguru x reader#fem!reader#jjk geto#geto x reader#geto smut#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk smut#jjk headcanons#jjk hcs#jujutsu sorcerer#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen hcs#geto headcanons#geto hcs#getou suguru x reader
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Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy
now me personally, I don't have a mask kink but this man is just...attractive...for some reason
König x Black Fem Reader Fluff (angst?)
Medic!Reader, Mutual Pining, Drabble
CW: Ghost pops in (lmao), she/her pronouns
I walk into Ghost’s quarters to give him his results only to freeze in place when I hear light snoring. Is he sleep? I just told him I'd be back later. I place his test results on the dresser and step around the foot of the bottom bunk to see König's giant leg hanging off, boot firmly planted on the floor. Oh! Oh. The other one was tucked under his massive thigh while his chest rose and fell evenly under his crossed arms.
What are you doing here? And how are you fitting on his bed like this? His phone was on the floor with earbuds still attached so I sneak closer, hoping he wouldn’t wake up as I pick it up. Ghost steps into the room and before he can open his mouth, I shush him.
“The fuck are you doing?” He asks in a whisper.
"I was just picking up his phone. What are you doing?"
“It’s my room. You get the results?”
“On the dresser. And like I said, you don't have any allergies."
"Bullshit."
The screen turns on, revealing his Spotify playing Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy from a playlist called "Ask Her" making me gasp softly.
"What, now?" Ghost asks.
König...likes somebody? Is it me? Way to jump to conclusions, but it's not like he talks to many people. Who could it be? He must have it bad—he even made a whole playlist with this song. I look over at him to see him lifting his hat from his eyes. Before I knew it, he was towering over me with a soul-piercing glare from the eyeholes in his mask. He grabs his phone from me, letting both headphones hang to his knees.
"Shit--"
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing, I just came to see Ghost and I saw your phone was on the floor."
"Doesn’t explain why you’re on it."
"I wasn’t. It just turned on."
König's eyes narrowed briefly before he looks away. He sighs as he stepped around me and left the room wordlessly. I look over at Ghost with narrow eyes and crossed arms.
"Gee, thanks."
"For...?"
"Backing me up there."
He shrugs, putting the papers down. “I didn’t even know what you trying to achieve to help.”
“I wasn’t going through his phone! I was just on his lock screen!”
"Looks like you were from over here.”
I suck my teeth and lean against the bunk with a groan. He’s definitely not gonna like me now, great. Not like it'd make sense anyway, I'm a medic.
“He’ll get over it.”
I gasped, getting an idea. “So...Ghost~”
“No.”
“I- what? I didn’t even say anything.”
“You want to know who his playlist is about and no.”
"So you do know?!"
"Never said that."
"Simon--"
"Not only do I not know, I also don't care."
“That’s...fair. But it’s König.”
“Why are you so curious all of a sudden, huh?”
“Well cuz...um..."
"Because...?"
"Because who the hell could a faceless, anxious man possibly have a crush on?” I play off, “Is it someone you know?”
“What part of ‘don't know, don't care’ was confusing?”
"Ugh, fine. Whatever."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After (Y/n) leaves, I wait a bit before walking the opposite way to knock on König's door. Once I hear his muffled voice tell me to come in, I walk inside to see him cleaning his knives. I lean against the wall, watching the cloth move along the blade of his dagger as the door shuts next to me.
"Subtle."
"Shut up."
"Just saying. I think you should just tell her, you're a grown man."
"Right, because you're so good with feelings like these."
I shrug slightly, “Maybe your phone has it out for you.”
“Who’s side are you on?”
“Neither.”
He groans, staying silent as he puts down the knife and begins to clean another.
“Well, after you stomped away, she pressed me for a bit. I think she likes you too.”
“I don’t need your false hope, Ghost.”
“I mean it. She was asking me who it was about, she sounded pretty desperate—jealous if you look deep enough into it.”
“Or she's just curious.”
“She thinks it’s someone we know.”
"Ja?" He flips a knife and cleans the handle, “Well, she's not exactly wrong.”
“You have to say something eventually, I can't have you this distracted on our next mission.”
“I'll think about it.”
“Whatever, do something about it...." I start to walk out the door, "Preferably before she meets someone she knows.”
His eyes flick from the knife to me, glaringly, “Don’t put that in my head.”
“Then do something about it.”
#konig modern warfare#konig call of duty#konig x reader#konig mw2#konig x black reader#cod konig#konig x y/n#x black reader#black reader#black writers#könig x reader#könig call of duty#call of duty konig#konig fluff
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Pharmakon; Fighting Fire With Fire
...or should I say "fighting wildfire with fire"...
(Part one, read part two here, and part three here)
...in that the virus responsible for the zombie apocalypse is called "wildfire"...
In TOWL 1x3 Bye, we hear the term "pharmakon" used in TWDU for the first time. As Major General Beale explains, "it's an ancient Greek word, meaning both poison and the cure".
In the next episode 1x4 What We, we see Rick and Michonne escape in that yellow hybrid truck, loaded up with cans of ethanol in the back, making it an electric/bio-ethanol hybrid:
We know from season 4 of FTWD that "ethanol" symbolizes "the antidote", or simply a "cure"...
I went into great detail on that here.
What is the connection between the ethanol and Major General Beale's pharmakon?
TOWL 1x4 What We had so many callbacks to TWD 4x12 Still and 4x13 Alone, we all were stunned. Quick question, where would the ethanol (which, according to Morgan Jones, is just a fancy word for alchohol) in the back of Richonne's truck have been produced?
In a still. It would have been produced in a still. Ethanol is produced through a process of fermentation and destillation.
In a still.
Hence all the references to TWD 4x12 Still and the moonshine shack, a shack where ethanol was produced and consumed.
In the series pilot, 1x1 Days Gone Bye, we are introduced to the physical laws of the TWDU.
We follow Rick, who wakes up from a three week coma in the hospital. The world has ended, and he doesn't know anything about what happend, how it happened, or why. He doesn't know what a walker is, and he doesn't know how to neutralize one. Neither do we, the audience. Morgan becomes the charachter who introduces us to the rules:
He checks Ricks temperature and finds it to be "cool enough", meaning he's willing to believe Rick on that he's not been bitten, he's simply been shot.
Pleased by this, he then goes on to explain to Rick, and us, the audience, how the virus works:
"The fever burns you out. But after a while, you come back"
He later elaborates on how relentless the fever was to his wife:
"Her skin gave off a heat like a furnace".... meaning the fever burns like fire...
It's the fever that kills. It burns you up. Then you come back.
(also, read about Sirius symbolism here)
In 5x1 No Sanctuary, we hear Eugene explain the scientific basis behind his alledged cure for the virus. Of course, Eugene wasn't a scientist, and he was never going to find a cure for the virus. However, he was knowledgeable, well read, and able to put together a plausible lie:
Fighting fire with fire. A poison and a cure. Pharmakon.
In TD, we were many who at one point believed in the bite/cure theory, that Beth got bit right before she was taken by the Grady car in 4x13 Alone, and that the treatment she was subjected to involved experimental medical testing, somehow resulting in her surviving the bite without developing an infection/fever. The jury is still out on that one, but in FTWD season 7 we did see a representation of the bite/cure theory that was suspiciously close to our old theories:
Alicia at one point got bit, and proceeded to amputate her arm. As we know, this has so far been the only way a person can survive the bite; by cutting off the affected limb immediately, before the infection has the chance to spread. This is how Hershel survived getting bit in season 3, this is how Lydia survived after her walker bite in season 11.
Alicia, by her own account, wasn't quick enough. The infection spread, and she developed the fever. Of course that's not something anyone can verify, theoretically she could have cut off her arm quick enough, and the following infection could have been a reaction to the amputation itself rather than the virus. However, the assumption given by TPTB is that she wasn't quick enough, and that's also her own belief.
According to Morgan's rules from 1x1, that should have been the end for her. There's no surviving that. She developed the fever...
...and fought it for months...
...way longer than anyone else we've seen in TWDU so far. In 1x6 TS-19, Dr. Jenner explained that the longest time between bite and reanimation at that point was 8 hours. Alicia went months without reanimating...
In 7x15 Amina, we watch her struggle with the fever. She's closer to dying than ever before. She has dreams of herself as a walker, she has hallucinations, she thinks she's talking to a little girl, who in reality is a representation of herself. Alicia is preparing to die in this episode, but the girl, who is Alicia herself, explains that she was once bit, and she survived just fine.
The girl brings up an excellent point:
This is a fair question. This is the role fever normally plays in infections. Fever raises the body's temperature in an attempt to burn the infection out. Fighting fire with fire. But as we know from Morgan's commentary in TWD 1x1, this fever is different:
"Bites kill you. The fever burns you out. Then after a while, you come back".
And Alicia is well aware:
...but the girl, who is a hallucination of herself as a young girl, insists that's she's going to survive.
Throughout the episode we watch Alicia's struggle to avoid giving up. The episode is packed with symbolism we already know and love, such as bird symbolism and stairwells as representations of metaphorical passages between the realms. At one point she's in a stairwell, trying to reach the top of Strand's Tower. She says she's not going to make it, then the girl replies over radio that she will. She then sees a bird, which guides her through the burning tower.
By following the bird, we see Alicia reach the top of the tower. We later see her wake up, her fewer gone, the bird by her side.
She's the first person in TWDU to get bit, develop fever... and then subsequently recover from the fever.
She's the first person to survive a bite and the following infection! That is, if she really was too late with amputating her arm, as she believes herself. If she really was infected, she represents something completely new in TWDU, a complete shift, a paradigm shift, away from the old rules that Morgan laid out in 1x1. The end of the beginning, and the beinning of the end?
A cure?
Last but not least, Alicia's confirms that the bite/cure theory that TD were discussing after Slabtown, could be real. Hypothetically, it could still be what happened to Beth in season 4-5.
What set Alicia's case apart from others we've seen bitten in TWDU, that potentially allowed her to survive the bite, infection and fever, was that she had been exposed to high doses of radiation around the time of her getting the bite. This is where the potential "cure" part of the bite/cure theory comes into play. And this is where "radiation" ties into the pharmakon/"fighting fire with fire" framework.
And this is also where things get interesting for TD, because Beth would have had access to radiation therapy at Grady, in fact, there was a whole storyline about an oncologist, Dr. Trevitt, who Dawn desperately wanted to have saved. Oncologists deal with radiation therapy. And to make matters even more interesting, he had previously worked at St. Ignatius Hospital, and as I explained here, the name "Ignatius" is derived from the latin word for "ignite", which refers to "ignite/spark a fire"...
...fighting fire with fire...
Radiation goes under the "fire" symbolism, because electromagnetic radiation, in the form of everything from UV rays from the sun, to X-rays as well as other types of radiation used in radiation therapy, has the potential to burn your skin. When you get a sun burn, that's the UV rays from the sun burning your skin.
In fact, we saw this theme revisited in the last season of FTWD:
(Thanks @wdway for these screenshots)
We learn that June, inspired by watching Alicia survive for as long as she did after her bite, started experimenting with treating walker bites with radiation therapy. She didn't have massive success, and the patients experienced burns from their treatment and eventually died, but we did see her treat Dwight and Sherry's son Finch after he was bitten. And while he ultimately didn't survive, they were able to extend his life with one week, likely due to the radiation therapy. So while a full cure might be a way ahead, Finch's response to the radiation therapy could be concidered legitimate medical progress.
And as a fun fact, I will mention that after we saw Rick survive his little death fake-out back in 7x12 Say Yes, when he survived by hiding in the yellow carnival ride car which I discussed here, we did see this:
No, I'm not talking about the infamously bad CGI deer, I'm talking about the ER sign behind it. ER for Electromagnetic Radiation? As in radiation therapy? In a death fake-out scene?
If it turns out that radiation therapy in some way, shape or form could help treat walker bites, or potentially create some kind of cure/vaccine/immunity, that would be fighting fire with fire, or should I say fighting wildfire with fire. It's a poison and a cure. It's pharmakon.
Ok, so back to the ethanol. How does it tie in with the radiation, how could it represent a cure, and what does it have to do with Beth and TD?
Well, one clue came in TWD 10x16 A Certain Doom. The Whisperers war was at its height, and Whisperers had surrounded Team Family, who were sheltering in a place called the Tower (interestingly the same location as the one used for Grady Memorial back in season 5) with thousands of walkers.
In order to escape and survive, Team Family mounted loudspeakers on to a wagon, and blasted music to draw the walkers away. The song they went for was an interesting choice; Talking Heads with Burning Down The House:
...whose lyrics include this line: "fighting fire with fire"...
Keep in mind, the walkers in TWDU are what they are because of a virus specifically called "wildfire", they're a threath to humanity because of the wildfire virus...
If that's not a representation of "fighting fire with fire", I don't know what is...
And how do we tie ethanol to the symbolism around "fighting fire with fire" and "burning down the house"?
Because of TWD 4x12 Still, in which houses were definitely, decidedly burned down...
Burning down the house. Fighting fire with fire... And how did they set the house on fire again?
Ethanol. They used ethanol. Moonshine.
Which is why it's so darned interesting that TOWL 1x4, with all the references to TWD 4x12 Still, ended with Richonne escaping in a yellow electric/bio-ethanol hybrid truck, supplied with cans of ethanol in the back. Ethanol, which would have had to have been produced in a still, and is famous for burning really well, even well enough to burn down houses.
And let's again appreciate Daryl's immediate response after learning the truth about the wildfire virus back in TWD 1x6 TS-19:
It's like he knew... He couldn't have known that ethanol/alcohol would be involved in a cure all the way back then, but I have a sneaking suspicion TPTB knew a thing or two about it...
I recently wrote about the resurrection symbolism from the sorghum barn from TWD 6x10 The Next World. In that episode, we saw Eugene endorse sorghum as though it was a miracle grain, and maybe it is, because sorghum can be used to manufactor ethanol.
In TOWL 1x1 Days, we saw a similar type of entusiasm over a different grain, millet, when we learned that Okafor was growing millet in his study/appartment, and was constantly on the look-out for the perfect strain of millet. Millet can also be used to produce ethanol.
In TWD season 9, we saw Daryl oversee an ethanol production plant at the Sanctuary. They made it from corn, which they grew on the premises. As the Sanctuary was a factory rather than fertile agricultural land, the crops weren't exactly thriving, and the ethanol production was at the center of many of the conflicts in 9A.
Nevertheless, we saw Daryl convert bikes and cars to run on bio-ethanol. His current bike, which we saw Carol drive in the sneak peak for DDTBOC (which apparantly needs work on its transmission), runs on bio-ethanol. We saw Maggie, chief of food production at Hilltop, trade produce for bio-ethanol.
It was used as fuel, and now we've come full circle with that, in that we saw the yellow electric/bio-ethanol hybrid truck in TOWL 1x4 What We.
This is already a massive post, so I'm saving the rest for part two.
#team delusional#bethyl#daryl dixon#beth greene#team defiance#the walking dead#twd#twd towl#daryl x beth#beth x daryl#ftwd
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